MERCEDES-LACKEY Digest 78

Topics covered in this issue include:

  1) UK Lackey list meeting
	by mel-+AT+-servalan.demon.co.uk (Melanie Dymond Harper)

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Date: Sun, 16 Jul 1995 22:09:26 GMT
From: mel-+AT+-servalan.demon.co.uk (Melanie Dymond Harper)
To: mercedes-lackey-+AT+-herald.co.uk
Subject: UK Lackey list meeting
Message-ID: <13441-+AT+-servalan.demon.co.uk>

With suitable apologies to those who like grammar, good English and the like,


	The UK Lackey List Meeting, 15th July 1995

			-or-

	How many mathematicians does it take to light a barbecue?
	Five, if you make sure they're dry enough.


Oh come gather round me, and hear you my song,
It's a caution'ry tale, and it's sad, and it's long,
But the theme is familiar, you know I'm not wrong,
The tale of the Dead Barbecue.

Now we met in Oxford, one fine Saturday, 
And we raided the bookshops, and went on our way,
To the garden of Kim, because we'd heard her say
That she'd cook us a barbecue.

So we stopped off at Tesco's, and bought us some beer,
And we followed Kim home, into deep Oxfordshire,
And we saw that indeed, t'was the truth we did hear,
That she did have a barbecue.

We first found the charcoal, and the blocks which do light;
And then for the matchbox, which put up a fight, 
Lighting paper on the gas stove was a pitiful sight,
To light up that dead barbecue.

We puffed, and we huffed, and we swore quite a bit;
We called to Lavan to send Firestorms to it,
But none of our curses heated it up one whit,
That sputtering dead barbecue. 

Graham poked, and he prodded, and he said it looked dead.
It was an ex-barbecue, that's what he said.
The charcoal was black when it should have been red,
That not-very-warm barbecue.

Then Andy came home, and suggested a plan,
To use a hair-dryer -- was he a mad man?
But no, all we needed was that little fan,
To energise that barbecue.

The fan was applied, and the barbecue flared,
As hot as could be -- or as hot as we dared,
The food could be cooked and the burnt remnants shared,
Since we had a lit barbecue.

The sausages smoked, and the burgers they spat,
And the chicken wings sizzled, and dripped off their fat,
And drinks they were drunk, and tapes played, and that
Was the passing of the barbecue.

Now hear me, oh people, if you want to cook,
Make sure that you've matches, and know where to look
For the hairdryer when it's that or your best Lackey book
To light up that dead barbecue.

			-fin-

Mel-+AT+-home

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End of MERCEDES-LACKEY Digest 78
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