[LMB] OT: men's responsibilities...
mathews55 at msn.com
Thu, 31 Jan 2002 18:41:08 -0700
>From: Kiri Aradia Morgan <tiamat at tsoft.com>
>Thank you, Laura-- and please not that it was not just men who were
>I have real problems with this. Autistic children, like this one, can't
>tell you if they're being abused. I and several other children were
>molested (not raped, but still) by a female babysitter in our early
>childhood. Our parents ignored us because we didn't know HOW to tell them
>what was going on. I also remember being locked in a closet by this crazy
>old b*tch. All they knew was that all the kids screamed when it was time
>to go to Mrs. C's house, but not why. 20 years later it all comes out.
That's why,when I put my kids in a day care and they dragged their heels at
going, I took them very seriously and kept looking. At least today we're
more conscious of the fact that the kids *do* have reasons for fussing about
that sort of thing! Grrr...kill the old monster.
> > However, many of the manipulative games are played with all of us.
> > Certainly we are not happy with the care he gets. He gets no set
> > bedtimes or routines, and for an autistic kid especially that can
> > wreak havoc the first few days he's back. (He'll often fall asleep on
> > the way home - 4 or 5 pm - and sleep straight through supper and all
> > night. Scary.) All of his daycare providers in the past and teachers
> > have been able to tell which weeks he's had visitation on the weekend
> > due to behaviour changes. After an extended visit, like the Xmas
> > grandparent visit, we had to reteach him many of his manners. He
> > sometimes gets no baths. My ex's girlfriend has been in repeated
> > abusive relationships, including ones she's willingly gone back to,
> > which leaves me terrified she'll follow the most typical pattern and
> > abuse my son - and for an autistic kid, I *can't* get details from him
> > of what's happened. Etc.
Somebody needs to get a new judge -- one who will listen --- and a new
verdict. Is there NOBODY in your state who you can appeal to?
> > And what's worst for us, the reason we would so desperately wish my
> > husband could adopt him, is that so much of our life hangs in the
> > balance of fear. My husband has been Daddy to my son most of his
> > life. But if I were killed, they'd never get to see each other again.
>Need she say more? I don't think so. This child has the right, if
>something happens to his mother, NOT to be forced out of his home and away
>from his DADDY to go live with this yutz just because this yutz's sperm
>went into making him.
God. What ever happened to "The best interests of the child?"
> > We've worked hard to afford living in an area with a good school
> > district that has a program to help with the autism - if I were
> > killed, he'd be forced to a bad neighborhood and school district.
> > We'd like to move out of the LA area sometime in the next few years,
> > hopefully to where we can get a house with a yard, a safe neighborhood
> > to play in, and a good school district without having to pay godawful
> > rents
Maybe being in LA is part of the problem. I can't speak for other states or
other parts of California, but I know living out there is hideously
>It's not fair.
> > I keep trying to find ways to make the best of it, just get on with
> > grinding my teeth down some more and deal with it. But I must say it
> > leaves me awfully unsympathetic with fathers' rights stuff.
That's not a father. That's a sperm donor.
If you want to hide out from Daddy and whatever law he has on his side, come
on down to New Mexico.
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