[LMB] OT: Marna's Test?

Eric Oppen oppen at cnsinternet.com
Mon, 4 Feb 2002 11:10:07 -0600

> On Sun, 3 Feb 2002, Christine L. Forber wrote:
> > At 12:50 PM 2/3/2002 -0800, Kiri Aradia Morgan wrote:
> > >
> > >Actually the worst thing to have if you don't want total strangers
> > >touching you (not to mention commenting on every damn thing you put in
> > >your mouth) is an obviously pregnant belly.
> >
> > I absolutely hated that. Why does everyone assume that a pregnant woman
> > won't mind her belly being touched? One fellow where I worked during my
> > first pregnancy was especially bad. I took to rubbing his rather large
> > and asking when he was due. I only had to do that twice (slow learner)
> > before he quit!
> Oh, charming!  I shall never again be in this position, but I won't
> hesitate to recommend this to my friends.

Now, if I had something sufficiently crushing to say to old ladies at the
local McDonalds who take it upon themselves to scold me for having a few
cookies, saying that I'm already overweight...oh, would that my Granma Alice
(not my real grandmother, but the closest thing I had---more like a
great-aunt, strictly speaking) were alive!  It's _permitted_ to box old
ladies' ears if one is an even older lady, or so I am told.

> > Oh yes, and sales clerks at food outlets asking if I wanted milk to
> > even before I'd made my selection. As it happens, I like milk and it is
> > often my drink of preference, but I hated the assumption, and the
> > that a total stranger would be making suggestions re my diet.
> Imagine how you would feel about it if you were lactose intolerant, as I
> am, and haven't voluntarily drunk a glass of milk since you were 8.  I can
> tolerate Lactaid, but it has to taste like something other than milk, or
> I'll throw up from simple classical conditioning.

Unfortunately, Milk=Virtue in our culture...perhaps what we need to break
_that_ association is a line of "moloko-plus" bars a la _Clockwork Orange?_
I loved that _Saturday Night Live_ when Malcolm McDowell was Guest Host and
did a milk commercial in his old _Clockwork Orange_ costume and persona...