[LMB] Uh, oh--Pilot's Ranting Again... [OT:]

hvalli at mindspring.com hvalli at mindspring.com
Fri, 08 Feb 2002 13:52:20 -0500

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From: iyap at toad.net 
Subject: Re: [LMB] Uh, oh--Pilot's Ranting Again... [OT:] 
Date: Fri, 08 Feb 2002 11:05:51 -0500 (EST) 
> <snip>Non-verbal 
> clues stymie me most of the time. Am I just 
> the exception that proves the rule? 

Well, if you're an exception, then so am I. 
I once went months without realizing my roommate 
and all her friends were mad at me. 

> Am I just an aberration? Is there a more 
> logical explanation? Or, perhaps, are these 
> theories in need of more testing? 

Maybe personality type has something to do with it. 
What about the Sensing/Intuitive trait in the 
Myers-Briggs profile? 

On a side-note, this thread has been really useful 
to me. I was stressing out about something a boy 
said to me, but now I realize he meant exactly what 
he said, and I've stopped over-analyzing the comment. 

Ivy Yap 
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Add me to the female-yet-clueless list. When I read the LMB line 
about some guys needing to be hit with a large brick, I had 
flashbacks to my friends saying the same thing about me, albeit 
in different contexts. 

I have been trying to learn the clues for several years, and in 
some instances I think I'm getting pretty good at it, but the 
parallels others have mentioned about learning a foreign 
language ring pretty true to me. And, as with partly learned 
second languages, there's something of a time lag. There's this 
whole process. [Hmmm. I'm missing something from the 
conversation. What does the body language say? <observe, run 
against the checklist I've culled from books and direct feedback, 
analyse in context of conversation> OK, she's pissed about 
something. ] After anywhere from 5 seconds to a couple of 
minutes of (probably infuriating) silence, I can say, "Is there 
something that's upsetting you?"

Not the basis for scintillating conversation. On the whole I prefer 

I've also noticed the comments about this being something 
learned early in life. I spent the first several years of socialization 
(between 4 and 8) half deaf and extremely nearsighted. Because 
I was deaf in one ear I was put in the front row of every class, so 
no one knew I needed glasses rather desperately. I learned later 
that most of the kids assumed I was a snob because I wouldn't 
hear them say "Hi" or see them wave--I just walked on by. When I 
was 9 I finally got glasses, and my social life improved a quite bit 
at the same time. So it's entirely likely I missed out initially on 
learning a lot of the physical cues. 

As far as the Myers-Briggs profile goes, I'm an intp, Ivy. If you 
come to any conclusions on whether the MB stuff has any 
bearing, I'd love to hear about it.

OB: Miles spent a lot of his early childhood in bed or in hospitals. 
While I know he played a bit with Ivan, Gregor, and the Koudelka 
girls, I'm under the impression that he spent a lot more time with 
adults than most kids. Does anyone else think this might have 
skewed his cue reading, not to mention his relationships with 
supposed authority figures? I remember that scene in 
Ceteganda where he has to remind himself that this is one 
emperor with whom he didn't play as a child. But also, the way 
he learned to read adults, specifically adult authority figures, and 
manipulate them into doing his wishes strikes me as good 
training for someone who needs to do the same with, oh, say, 
the heads of a band of mercenaries, or his immediate military 

Heather V.