[LMB] Re: Hope Chest, now going OT:

Paula S. Sanch tygerbryght at myrealbox.com
Tue, 05 Nov 2002 03:44:38 -0600


Tora Smulders-Srinivasan wrote:

>When I was deciding on which university to attend, my
>father asked me if I wanted a dowry or I wanted him to
>pay for me to go to Cornell University (otherwise,
>probably would have gone to Penn State mostly on
>scholarships, a common university for students from my
>high school outside of Pittsburgh.).
>
>Obviously just one traditional Indian man's opinion of
>what a dowry could be today:

>	a good education!

One of my 'adopted sons' is the other kind of Indian
(Tora's kind) from me.  Sastry's mother was widowed when
he was a toddler, and she managed to raise her children
such that he (the younger of two sons) was sent to the
U.S. for his graduate education.  ... At a "regional
institution", grant you, but a U.S. university,
nonetheless.  

About a year before he finished his M.S. (I.S.) from the
business school, they started pressuring him to come
home and get married.  While not a 'party animal', he
didn't feel he was ready for marriage. As he was
finishing his degree, his family lured him home on the
pretext of being there for a sister's wedding.

Guess who came back to Michigan with a fiance?  And got
married a year or so later? ;D

His wife is the daughter of a family of physicians.  Her
dowry may or may not have included other things, but it
did include a medical degree (India follows the British
medical education plan, for those who are interested).
She had to do both internship and residency here before
she could be licensed here, and that took more than
you'd think.  [And AFAICT, he definitely married 'up',
even in terms of what his family's status might have
been if his father hadn't died.]

Oh, yes.  I'll leave the significance of the matter to
others to discuss; with several listies of Indian
descent/residence on the list, it would be presumptuous
of me to do otherwise.  However, I will observe that the
wife is beautiful and has much lighter skin than he.
And after the first child came, his father-in-law took a
hiatus from his practice so that they could come and be
babysitters.

OTOH, Sastry's first job was for a company which got his
green card for him.

Paula S, proud to say he has always listened carefully
to any advice I gave him.  He delayed leaving that first
employer (which I'm sure was difficult; they did not
treat him with consideration) until I told him it was
'safe' (in terms of his employment record). Such things
may not mean much for citizens, but I suspect that
employers still look harder at foreign prospective
employees