[LMB] OT: Slashers, fanfic and reactions to them

Azalais Aranxta tiamat at tsoft.com
Wed Dec 13 18:19:57 GMT 2006

On Wed, 13 Dec 2006, Sylvus Tarn wrote:

> Um, not an expert on slash, somewhat more familiar with romance
> novels, but realistic expectations?
> I think most readers of romance novels (and probably slash) are reading
> for, what was that classic descriptive term, oh yes, escape.  That was
> probably the point the other poster was making:  slash is so obviously
> fantasy that we'll just enjoy it `for fun'.

Pretty much.

Although I can say this.  Eric has a point.  Many women who get
their fantasy fixes through reading are absolutely unwilling to
"settle" for "realistic expectations" if that means getting
involved with men who are crass, crude, or boring.  I myself have
ended relationships because if the actual physical presence of
the man isn't interesting enough that I still feel I'd be better
off with a good fic and a Hitachi, that's the end of it.

I know a lot of men resent this.  They resent the fact that women
like me won't look at them if they don't make an effort to dress
well, engage in witty conversation, and keep interests we don't
share to conversations with those who do.  They want a BUDDY who
looks good in heels and puts out, not a girlfriend or wife.  They
want to talk about football to you and never hear about slash ;-)
because it's your job to adjust your interests and friendships to
suit them.

Some of them also resent the fact that many women won't stay in a
relationship where the sex is no good and important issues are
not discussed.

Men who think women should accept them, warts and all, especially
gorgeous women, when they themselves ignore less conventionally
attractive specimens, b*tch a lot about things like slash,
romance and The Rules, because they really think that they have
the right to be boring, sloppy, crass, crude AND laid on a
regular basis.

I'm not accusing Eric, specifically, of this.  But I've certainly
seen it in action.  Guys who think that it's their G-d given
right to show up in a t-shirt for a date where the woman is
made-up, perfumed, in heels and a dress.  Guys who complain about
how the fancily-dressed, painted and perfumed, women who won't go
camping with them, instead of looking for women who like camping
to date in the first place.  Guys who demand that women put up
with and entertain obnoxious friends but don't want to put up
with and entertain yours.

I'd rather be alone, thanks, with my fics and my cat.

So no, I'm not looking for Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Dean
Winchester, Jack Harkness.  In that sense I have realistic
expectations.  But if the fact that you have a warm body
doesn't make you interesting enough to compete with my fantasies,
I'm not going to waste your time or mine in a relationship where
I will get to provide you with sex in return for conversations
that don't interest me, being embarrassed to be seen with you
in public and being expected to spend my time doing things I
don't enjoy with people I don't like.

> Except that, unfortunately, I gather the pr0n is having a nasty
> impact on real life relationships.

I haven't got that impression, but perhaps I've been lucky.  I am
of the opinion that since most men do like it and aren't that
horrible, it's probably the crazy ones that have a problem, and
I'm not in favour of restricting literature to that which won't
upset or inflame the crazies, because goodness, what would be
left?  Then again, I'm insanely picky and have been told I'll be
alone unless I'm willing to settle more than once.

And that is fine with me.

It's not like anyone has a G-d given right to what's between my
legs.  And that's how it sounds to me when men b*tch about how
women won't accomodate them when they refuse to be more
attractive TO women, and expect a woman to basically show up
looking 20 times better than they do, pay for half of everything,
do what they want to do, and have sex with them afterwards
without complaint.  And expect no commitment, because of course
we all come on approval, whether or not we come.

But hey, I understand men's annoyance with slash.  It's kind of
like my annoyance with polyamoury; not only are there very few
men of the sort I would even consider, but most of the ones there
are won't go out with me unless I am willing to let them date
other girls, too.  ;-)  Everyone wants exactly what they want,
and there's nothing wrong with WANTING a hot blond chick who digs
football, easy sex and beer bellies, it's just that there aren't
a lot of them to go around, just like there aren't a lot of the
guys I want out in the wide wild world.  If your expectations are
very specific you will wait a long time and you might not get
what you want.

I just don't see how that hurts anyone but me.  Except, of
course, the guy who thinks he has a right to get some, even
though he doesn't suit my taste.

~malfoy :)

Azalais Aranxta (~malfoy)
ataniell93 on LiveJournal and Vox

"I know the true world, and you know I do. But we needn't let it
think we all bow down." --Christopher Morley

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