[LMB] listbiz, was Pizza Call (was OT: Slash)

Elizabeth Holden azurite at rogers.com
Fri Dec 15 01:38:06 GMT 2006


--- Meg Justus <megj at nwlink.com> wrote:

> I'm not good at defending myself on this list, as I
> have proved over and
> over and over to myself, so you effectively shut me
> up with it.

One aspect of this problem is that everyone has
different levels of discourse. Some people are
diffident about posting *at all*, regardless of
whether there are contentious issues.  I like to
encourage these people to post, if and when I can find
a way. But I understand their reticence.

Some people (like Meg) shut up and go away when an
issue is contentious or someone sounds as if they're
putting them down, which is a pity, because I bet she
had some intelligent things to say.  Other people get
upset, and we start getting heat and smoke  rather
than substance.

I'm a shut-up-and-go-away type of person myself, but I
have (I think) a fairly high level of tolerance on a
mailing list, and can to some extent sort of mentally
filter out things I find offensive if there are other
aspects of the conversation I'm finding interesting.
(And yes, there were things in the conversation a
couple of days ago I found offensive, but not
*personally* offensive, if you understand the
difference.)

I know Marna thinks people here are unusually polite;
I find this a little surprising, since I think I am on
several lists that have a far greater degree of
politeness, civility and reasoned discourse.  And you
know what? There are people *there* who are afraid to
speak up because they think other people on those
lists  are rude, intolerant, and will cut them down
when they express their opinions.

If a thread starts to bother me, I stop reading it.

Theoretically, a nasty thread, out of hand, could take
over the list and bring it to a  halt. (I've seen this
happen.) So pizza calls are probably a good thing.

Everybody - I don't mean everyone here, I mean
everyone alive in this world - has a trigger point
that ignites when the wrong things are said in the
right way. And no one else has any way of knowing what
another person's trigger point will be, so it's kind
of tricky sometimes not to say the wrong thing.

namaste,
Elizabeth



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