[LMB] List-biz and why people leave, was Explaining Stuff To Kids OT:

Elizabeth Holden azurite at rogers.com
Fri Dec 15 18:38:14 GMT 2006

--- Laura Gallagher <celticdragonfly at gmail.com> wrote,
regarding the problem of handling dissention and
bruised feelings on the list:

> Mostly the answer is I don't know, which is why I
> haven't been suggesting things before.  

I think the United Nations has the same problem.  NOt
to mention every nation on the planet.  Plus every
city, family, every group of individuals.... We're a
contrary and difficult bunch, us humans.

> Plus I figure I'm going to get hammered for
> whatever answer I come up with, and I don't like
> that.

I thought 'getting hammered' meant 'getting drunk'.

> The person not wanting to be drawn and quartered has
> been slapped for expressing opinions, and is 
> now refusing to share personal opinions.
> Sensible reaction from where I see it.

Yes, but it looked to me like a tease.  This also is
fair enough - but doesn't really lead to conversation.
  I was left thinking "What does he want me to say?" 
The article did raise a lot of interesting and complex
ideas in my head about how the world runs and what
runs it, and I have a lot of ideas about the problem
and the potential solutions, but I am unlikely to
articulate them here because (a) I would probably bore
everyone and (b) it all tends to be majorly political
in outlook by the time I get to the bottom line.  

Lets just say that I found the article very
superficial, regarding a complex subject.

Besides, I have been on lists before that have become
doubly incendiary when the subject of women's weight
came up. So. I back off.

I've already said my bottom-line philosophy: people
are beautiful creatures.  We should celebrate and
appreciate that.  Regardless of whether it's the
beauty of John Barrowman, or of Miles Vorkosigan, or
of the person at the next desk in the office.

I might add that I think - more personal philosophy
here - that it is a good thing for each of us to make
ourselves the best people we can be, but we have no
business deciding what other people should do and what
they should be like. That's their business, their
choice, and their life. And they'd probably just
rightly take offense at interference. 

> And what Marna is now objecting to as best as I can
> see is that he's actually showing that he's 
> been slapped, hasn't liked it, and is now
> withholding his opinion.

Uh-huh.  I'm not objecting to anything anyone has
said, but I did think it was mischievously provocative
to say "I have a opinion and a reason for pointing out
this article but I'm not going to share it with you." 
It's one thing to withhold and opinion and another
thing to point out, out loud, that you're withholding
an opinion.

> It may get "dealt with" in a way that the tough as
> nails, slap-me-in-the-face-and-I-like-it types 
> feel is dealing with it - but
> that's not how everybody does things.

We're still hoping to find a way of handling this kind
of disagreement. I think Marna is trying hard to do
so, but is obviously missing the mark with you and

Suggestions still welcome. Er, polite suggestions.


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