[LMB] That grin should be illegal

Sylvus Tarn sylvus at rejiquar.com
Tue Oct 10 14:18:22 BST 2006

On Mon, 2006-10-09 at 02:56 -0700, Azalais Aranxta wrote:
> Telling me to smile, if I'm not doing it on my own, is among the
> top ten ways to get me to bite your head off.  It always rankles
> more from guys, too. 

Because it's *rude*.  (And don't even get me started on wolf-whistles.
Uber rudeness, but there seem to be a lot of guys out there who *just
don't get it*.)  No-one has a right to tell you how to feel (let alone
judge your attractiveness);  to control your behavior, maybe, but not
how to feel.  There are, of course, exceptions, the biggest perhaps
being parents stuck with the task of telling their children (in one form
or another) to grow up.  Note that the folks who do it Miles are usually
in positions of power over him.  And how many women have you ever
encountered telling men to smile?

That's right, they don't.  It's a power imbalance, and so pervasive we
hardly recognize it.  Not only is it women and girls that tend to get
this, but young women---seems to me people stopped aggravating me with
this after I hit my mid30s or so...

sylvus tarn

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