[LMB] Birthdays

[Jim Parish]

[The stout fellow in academic robes bounds on to the stage, beaming.]

And a good day to you all, my friends! Today we gather to celebrate the 
forty-eighth anniversary of the birth of longtime listie Meg Justus.

[One of the small winged humanoids flits onstage, towing a wheeled 
tray on which sits a paper bag.]

Meg has been through a bit of a rough patch lately, entailing a possible 
change of career, and to help her on her way, we'd like to offer her 
these...

[He looks into the bag, then glares at the humanoid.]

What is this?
[buzzing noise]
Yes, I can see that, but why?
[buzzing noise]
Oh. Yes. All right. [He takes the bag.] Now go get the *other* one, 
okay?

[It flits off again; the stout fellow turns back to the audience.]

I had forgotten. We have *two* celebrants today; the other is, ah, of the 
canine persuasion. [He lifts a box of dog biscuits out of the bag.] This, 
then, is for Ruffy, one of Priscilla Allen's companions. [Ben and Murphy 
bound onto the stage, barking and jumping at the box. The stout fellow 
raises it out of their reach.] Ruffy, may your day be filled with tasty food, 
romps and the love of your human, and your night with dreams of 
successful hunts. [Another of the winged humanoids zips in, takes the 
box, and flies off with it, headed for the Allen household.]

[The first humanoid returns; this time a larger bag and a basket sit on 
the tray. There are ropes attached to the basket.]

Ah, here we are. Meg, we wish you success in your new endeavors, 
and to help you on your path, here are some things every writer needs. 
[He reaches into the bag.] Pens. Pencils. Erasers. Lots and lots of 
paper. Large manila envelopes, and postage stamps. [He loads them 
into the basket.]

[The humanoid buzzes again. He glances at it irritably.]
Yes, I know that. This message is going out over the 'Net. But...
[buzzing]
Well, what if there's a *power outage*?
[buzzing]
:exasperation: Then why don't you *bring* me some?

[It flies offstage. The stout fellow rolls his eyes. After a moment, it 
returns, carrying a box of large candles and a candlestick, all of which it 
drops into the basket. It and another of the humanoids grasp the ropes, 
lift the basket, and fly off with it.]

Meg, may your day be joyful and your prospects bright. Ladies and 
gentlemen of the list, I give you Meg Justus!