[LMB] OT: its a sign...

Elizabeth Holden azurite at rogers.com
Tue Aug 7 16:06:14 BST 2007

> > On 8/6/07, Tzivia Adler <tadler at yeshivanet.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > what signpost ever showed you that you were older/younger than you
> > > thought?

Funny, it never really happens to me. Sometimes I get reminders... Every once in a while I realize
that something which seems recent to me happened way before my friends were born.  The break-up of
the Beatles.  The adoption of the Canadian flag and the new words to "O Canada".  The adoption of
Celsius, and klicks instead of miles.  I have a good friend who was born on the day the first
episode of "Star Trek" aired. And of course she has been grown up for a very long time.

In fact, yesterday, a very dear friend was telling me how she went to see the first Star Wars
movie at the Somerset Theatre - which is now long gone.  I saw it there too, maybe on the very
same day. I remember it well.  The difference: she was about 7.  I was in my twenties.  (She liked
it. I was bored.)

Then there's things like remembering the Kennedy assassination, and the moon landing, and one day
we'll all be saying to our descendants, "Oh, yes, I remember the day 9/11 happened...." 

But you know? None of this makes me feel old.

Looking in the mirror makes me feel old on a regular basis, especially first thing in the morning.
 ("Where did I disappear to and who is this person in the mirror now?  Who switched me for someone
else?")  I also associate being fat... being fatter than I used to be... with age and changing

Every time I have to look for my glasses, I remember my mother saying, "It's nothing but age.
Everyone's eyes start to change at around 50."  Yup, right on cue.

I feel actually a little embarrassed about looking old like this when, as everyone who knows me
can attest, I'm really only about 15 still and struggling to act like an adult.  My outward and
inward realities don't match any more.

I still feel as if I'm part of a younger generation that was going to make a better future. I look
around and I don't see a better future, and I wonder how and why my generation let me down.

And I know that it doesn't work that way... that virtue (and common sense) are not the preserve of
any age or generation or type of person.


More information about the Lois-Bujold mailing list