[LMB] Elli, was Winterfair Gifts

[Azalais Aranxta]

On Tue, 11 Dec 2007 CatMtn at aol.com wrote:

> mtraber251 at earthlink.net writes:
>
>> Elena was definitely preprogrammed to chose a husband, not a
>> lover. I am totally not surprised that her view of a
>> male/female relationship included a wedding ring. I really
>> dont see her boinking without being engaged to wed.
>
> I'm not surprised, either.  I am disappointed that with all her
> *never wanting to set foot on Barrayar again,* she couldn't
> shake that conditioning off, too.

I don't necessarily think that she didn't.

She shook off all kinds of conditioning about what kinds of
career options and roles were inappropriate for women.  That
doesn't mean she didn't decide that saving sex for a permanently
committed relationship was the right moral choice for her, AFTER
considering other options.

I am very liberal in terms of what I think is okay for other
people to do, but those who know me well know, for example, that
I have always been uncomfortable cohabiting with a man without at
least an engagement ring.   I probably wouldn't have been married
as many times as I have if I were more comfortable with plain old
cohabitation.  I'm not sure (and will never know) if I saved
myself heartache or inflicted it on myself because of those
attitudes, but I was definitely happier in terms of self respect.

~malfoy :)


****************************************************************
Azalais Aranxta (~malfoy)
ataniell93 on LiveJournal and Vox
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/malfoymadness

"I know the true world, and you know I do. But we needn't let it
think we all bow down." --Christopher Fry