[LMB] Re: Slash (was OT) now Bujold Romance/Slash Meta

[Rachel Ganz]

LMB wrote...
 "When the children happen, the tales move out 
 of the marketing category of "romance" and into 
 the category of "women's fiction", generally 
 domestic dramas"

Kirsten Edwards responded..........
 
 And so--? 
 
 It's not romance any more, is it? Buckets of
 anst or no, the biology of maleness and femaleness
 **changes things** and romance has always been about
 equals. Remember why it was--originally--only possible
 as adultery?
 
 To be free of the tyranny of biology is a terribly
 appealing thing for women, rather more so, I would 
 imagine than for men. 
 
 Rachel is adding:
Isn't one of the difficulties about having young children (especially for women) that it is much more difficult to believe "the world well lost for love". You must either sacrifice your lover to your child(ren) or you child(ren) to your lover. Even if it's only a question of how you're going to spend your Saturday night. It's possible, but it's a lot more complicated. And the fictional children are often inordinately well-balanced and well-behaved, with only the occasional cute moments od embarrassment.

I've wondered how well Nicky would actually cope with his mother's remarriage - to someone who might have murdered his father, no matter what Gregor says. Maybe there's a later plot, where he turns against Miles, and possibly even attempts to do nasty things to the twins.

But that is a side issue. And fiction is fiction. The attaction of opposties, and the attraction of hate is a well-trodden trope (tropes are squashed all over the place). If one lets sexual attraction creep into all the areas where friendship stood before, you have yet another set of complications to deal with. And it seems that there is some huge biological wall that once you have penetrated it, it is a long and dangerous trip back to the lands of friendship. Why, I don't know. In my experience, once you have been to bed with someone, of either sex, it is very difficult to remain friends. But maybe I've never gone to bed with the right people.

Rachel