[LMB] OT: Beauty

[Tora K. Smulders-Srinivasan]

On 6/1/07, Elizabeth Holden <azurite at rogers.com> wrote:
> > -Tora, been trying to be on-topic lately, but afraid
> > I'm a bit obsessed with rambling on about my son.
>
> Not a bad thing to be obsessed by. I meant to comment
> on your previous message about his looks: please don't
> come down hard on him for being beautiful.

I don't plan on that at all!  I'd just hate to have my son think that
he is better than everyone else because of the way he looks.  Or that
his only value as a person is the way he looks.  Or that his only
strategy for dealing with the world is by using his looks.  I don't
want him to become a spoiled brat either.

But I would never come down hard on him for that.  I want him to feel
confident and attractive, but not any of the above.  I definitely know
that what parents say to their children can very often leave lasting
scars and will try my best not to hurt him in that way (or any way for
that matter!).  So, no, I won't tell him he's ugly to counteract all
the others who say he's beautiful.

I want to avoid the list above because I feel that the attention he
gets already could lead him that way if I don't provide the proper
counter to it [1].  Make sure he knows that who he is on the inside is
what matters and that he should judge others that way as well.

-Tora :-)

[1] The fact that I think he is beautiful is not grounds to believe he
is -- he's my son, but he does get a lot of attention from others.
Maybe he's grow out of it, who knows?