[LMB] OT: stalkers

[Azalais Aranxta]

On Thu, 24 May 2007, Joel Polowin wrote:

> Azalais Aranxta <tiamat at tsoft.com> wrote:
>
> >It seems to me that if you are genuinely attracted to someone
> >you would know something about them.  Certainly if you are
> >attracted enough to someone to go to the effort of dropping a
> >lot of anonymous STUFF at her place, letting her know that a)
> >you are after her and b) you know where she lives, you are up
> >to the challenge of finding out whether she'd rather have a
> >funny card and a voucher for Amazon.com than a dozen roses?
>
> I have, on occasion, left gifts anonymously, once or twice with romantic
> interests/tastes of the recipients.  And though the gifts didn't have
> any explicit indication of the sender, the recipients immediately knew
> that it was me... because it's probably fair to say that I have a
> somewhat distinctive style of humour, and because they knew me pretty
> well.  (And, of course, each of the (few) women I've been interested
> in has been very intelligent.)

I've met you and I'd be surprised if you had given someone
offence, but since she worked it out that it was you, she
probably wasn't frightened.  The offence mostly comes from the
scare.

I would be genuinely frightened if someone I did not know, and I
could not work out who or why, sent me presents of the sort that
stereotypically signal romantic/sexual interest that cost a lot
of money, particularly if they were left in or near my
apartment, because I wouldn't have any idea of the mental state
of the person who went to all that effort to find me.  What if
it's my crazy third husband who threatened to kill me nearly ten
years ago?  What if it's a guy I've never noticed on the bus who
thinks if I pick up the flowers and take them inside, I want him,
and he should break in and have sex with me?  Laugh all you want,
but there are people like that in the world.

Perhaps I watch too much Law and Order Special Victims Unit, but
I have heard some mighty strange RL tales too.  Women spend a lot
of time being cautious and it's not because we're so much weaker
or more psychologically fragile than men; it's because we live in
a culture where sometimes women who are raped are still judged by
the way they were dressed and their previous pastimes/history,
and because it's possible, even if you have an ankle length skirt
on, a coat and a high-collared blouse, with your hair all put up
under a headscarf, for some guy to try and pick you up for a paid
date in some neighbourhoods.

But a nice and not so ambiguously romantic present that shows the
guy knows me, even if I can't work out who it is, means I can ask
around, and not have to worry so much.

~malfoy :)

****************************************************************
Azalais Aranxta (~malfoy) ataniell93 on LiveJournal and Vox
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/malfoymadness

"I know the true world, and you know I do. But we needn't let it
think we all bow down." --Christopher Fry