[LMB] HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (And Other Topics)

[CatMtn at aol.com]

The list members are all gathered  in the Council of Counts' chamber in 
Vorbarr Sultana for a meeting before the  party to honor our favorite author for 
her 58th birthday.  Suddenly  there is a disturbance.  Various people start 
shoving their way onto the  platform, demanding to speak.  Nicholas Rosen, who is 
acting as Master of  Ceremonies, is pushed aside, but valiantly manages to 
regain some sort of  order.  Sort of.  "What do all of you want, anyway," he asks 
the  noisy crowd.  "You, there, Armsman Roic--what do you  want?"
 
    "We all heard that Milady Bujold was  going to be here, and that there is 
going to be a new book.  All of us want  to be sure we're going to be in it.  
This is our only way to contact people  who've become our friends, you know."
 
    A tiny blonde woman in a black  and tan jumpsuit and high-heeled matching 
boots stamps one of the  boots and insists "I want a chance to tell my story! 
 I was just  a villain in _The Vor Game_, and I never got a chance to tell my 
side of  it!"
 
    "Ah--and what's your side of  it?"  Nicholas asks (unwisely, there are 
several hundred people here  clamoring for attention.)
 
    "How can you have any sympathy  for me if you see just the cruel things I 
did?" she  demands.  How would you act--or you--or you (she points to  
Elizabeth McCoy and Laura Gallagher, who both seem startled) in my  situation?  I 
was a slave of Baron Ryoval's, genetically  engineered to work in his brothels, 
but I escaped after  five years and made my way off Jackson's Whole.  I would 
have liked to  be a nicer person, but I wouldn't have survived the years of 
slavery and  abuse, then the long, hard struggle to get to the top of Randall's  
Rangers if I had been."
 
    "Well, Ms--Cavilo--surely you  understand that a villain is necessary to 
establish conflict in any of this type  of novel--"
 
    "Novel !! This is my life we're  talking about!!  I think the new 
Vorkosiverse book should explain this and  show my more gentle side!!"
 
    "You have a more gentle  side?"
 
    "Of course I do!  I'll kill  anyone who says I don't!  And the new book 
_should_ give me a chance  to show it."
 
    "All right, I'll mention it--and Lady  Donna--er--Lord Dono--just what is 
your reason for being here?"
 
    "I think the first _real_ love of my  life deserves more than just a 
comment by her father that Olivia and I are  engaged.  We really would like to 
share more of our story  with our list friends."
 
    "And I," interrupts Ivan, "would  like to find True Love.  I deserve it, 
after I saved Donna.   Dono.  Whoever.  And I don't care what m'mother says, 
the fact that I  haven't is Not My Fault."
 
    "Well, Ivan," says Martya Koudelka,  "don't even think of looking for it 
here.  I'm interested in Enrique, and  I'd really like to get a chance to find 
out more about him.  _A Civil  Campaign_ stopped just when things were 
getting moving, and _Winterfair Gifts_  didn't take up _our_ story line."
 
    A deep but feminine voice calls out  "Roic !!  I'm over here, dear."
 
    "Taura!  I haven't seen you since  just after m'lord's wedding!"  There 
is a certain amount of  shoving as the crowd shifts to bring these two large 
persons  together.
 
    Lady Vorob'yev interrupts:  "It  never was told how our resistance 
movement chased the  Cetagandans off Marilac, either.  Just that we did."  Tris and 
her  officers nod in agreement.  "There's so much importance put on the  
Barrayarans doing it; don't you think Marilac should tell its story,  too?"
 
    Nicholas, looking harried, snatches  back the microphone.  "Wait, all of 
you," he shouts.  We need to set  up interviews so all of you can state your 
positions.  I'm going to assign  some list members to interview characters who 
want to be heard, and we'll  work something out."  He gives a harried look 
over his shoulder at Her  Ladyship, obviously hoping she isn't going to 
contradict him and announce  the plot of her next Vorkosiverse book before he gets the 
mob sorted  out.
 
    "Here--Malfoy!  Please take--ah--  Byerly Vorrutyer to one of the empty 
offices and get his reasons for wanting to  be in the next book.  I think 
you're probably one of the few listees  who can out-snark him."
 
    "What committee meeting?  The one  we're going to have after everyone has 
a chance to state their  cases.
 
    "And Marna--will you interview Dono  and Olivia and find out exactly what 
they want told?
 
    "Tora, _please_ take Enrique.   You might be able to understand him;  I'm 
not sure anyone else could.   Martya too, if you don't mind.  And Alayne, 
please talk to Duv and  Delia.  Megaera--let's see.  Since you're a fellow 
gardener,  how about Ekaterin?  Fine.  No, Mary, you can't interview Zap the  cat.  
(And you and Barbara get your interviews done before you start  playing with 
the kittens.)  How about Ma Kosti, Mary?  Why don't you  and Susan Fox handle 
that interview together? <aside> Get some  recipes if you can.  Everyone--no 
playing with the kittens until we're  finished with the interviews and are ready 
for the  party.
 
    "Louann, how about talking to Lady  Alys and Simon?   And Jerrie--let's 
see--how about a quick trip to  Silvy Vale with Harra to talk to the folks up 
there?  You  might be able to record some of their music, too.  Will Marty be 
going with  you, or has he found some sporting event here in the capital to  
attend?
 
    "Bel, how are you feeling these  days?  We've been worried about you 
since Diplomatic Immunity.  How  about discussing your and Nicol's questions with 
Rachel?
 
    "Pete, we'd all appreciate it if you'd  talk to Pym.  Apparently he feels 
as if the  Armsman position has  been slighted in the books since the time of 
Bothari.  And  Harimad, please take those two toddlers off somewhere and see 
if you can figure  out what it is they want, or if they just came with their  
parents.  What?  They want a children's book written just for  them?  
But--but--Ms. Bujold doesn't write children's books!  Well,  take them and tell them a 
story, or something.  Ask someone to help  you--how about Beth or Sylvus?
 
    "Beatrice (aka The Antipodean Deputy  Tixie), would you talk to Dr. 
Vaagen?  He seems to have some issues he'd  like to discuss.  Something about only 
appearing in one book, even after he  saved the hero's life . . . 
 
    "Haut Pel?  You had something you  wanted?  Oh.  Well, you'll have to 
wait until this is sorted out to  wish Ms. Bujold a Happy Birthday.  _And_ to 
petition her to write another  book set in the Cetagandan Empire, specifically 
Rho Ceta.  In other  words, get in line."
 
    Countryboy is helping organize the  mob, and to match up interviewers 
with interviewees.  He is  having a little trouble persuading Dorian to interview 
Drou and  Kou instead of Aral and Cordelia, who want to talk to their old 
friends  Chief Birthday Tixie Kay Carrasco and Governor General James  Bryant, 
but seems to be winning the argument.   Er--discussion.
 
    "Margali, do you feel up to  interviewing Mark and Kareen?  Good. Glad 
your surgery went so well,  by the way.
 
    "Ivan...   Ivan...? <mumble>  Pat Mathews!  How about interviewing  Ivan? 
 Get Bert amd Carol, and Jane, if she's not busy, to  help you.  Believe me, 
once he starts that sidle, you might need  help.  And just wait until you try 
to pin him down on what he's done so far  to remedy his situation himself.
 
    "Yes, Nikki?  You want Pilot  Padget to interview you?  That should be 
all right, but I haven't seen him  yet.  If he's not here, would James 
(cessnadriver) be okay with  you?  Most Cessnas are something like lightfliers; you 
should  enjoy talking to him.  Good.  I'll send Pilot over to join you  two when 
he shows up.
 
    "Gregor.  Who should  interview Gregor and Laisa?  Let's see--Victoria?  
And Nora Bombay?  How about it?  Thanks.  The heir, too?  Good.
 
    "Oh--Mary Piero Carey, Nancy  Barber, and Lois Fundis?  Can you talk to 
Professora Vorthys?  It  seems she'd like higher education resources on 
Barrayar covered in the  next book.
 
    "Let's see--Miles.  Who could  possibly interview Miles?  Maybe a group?  
How about  Diane,  Stacey, Richard, and Claudia?  Think you can manage it 
among you?   Well, try.  Please.  Come on, people, we need to get this finished 
if  we're going to have any kind of a party.
 
    "Yeltar?  YELTAR?  _You_  want a segment in the next book?  Little Egret, 
can you handle this?   _Please_?"
 
    Various interviews have been assigned  to Little Alex, Katrina, Marianne, 
Dawn, both Paulas, both Andrews and  Kate, Cally, Ed, Kat, Becca, Bill 
Wenrich, The Avatar, Jim  Burbidge, and Tom Vinson, among others.  All the clamoring 
characters  from the Vorkosiverse are being heard, and the other listees are 
getting ready  for the party.  It's being held in the ballroom with the 
marquetry floor  that Cordelia admires, and various listees are setting out tables, 
bringing in  chairs, and telling the orchestra where to set up. Others are  
helping in  the kitchen.  Mark Mandel is getting his filk repertoire ready for 
his part  of the entertainment; Maureen O'Brian is also planning to sing some 
of her  songs, and Jerrie will be back in time to help with the program.  
 
    Ginnilee has brought fudge which Deb  is helping her arrange on a 
platter, James has curry, Susan has  brought Cornish pasties, and other listees also 
have their culinary  specialties set out on a long, narrow table.  The 
Vorhartung  Castle chefs looked somewhat askance at this invasion of their territory, 
but  after tasting the offerings, reluctantly agreed that they would be  
acceptable.  Martya and Enrique have brought enough Maple Mead Ambrosia to  start 
the party off on a lively and delicious note.
 
    Jim Parish, Acting Chief Birthday  Tixie, has a very large stack of notes 
from all the interviews that he  is looking around for some way to give to 
Milady Bujold in some  innocuous manner.  He finally grabs a box, scrawls "Idea 
Pebbles" on  it, stuffs the notes inside, slips it onto the gifts table, then 
saunters away  looking innocent, or trying to.
 
    The heir, Helen Natalia, Aral  Alexander, and the younger listee children 
have insisted on "helping" with the  decorations (under the supervision of 
Irene, so nobody falls off any  ladders).  The streamers are a bit low and more 
than a bit crooked, but  nobody minds because they all had such a good time 
doing it.  There is  fellowship, good cheer, wine, and good food for all.  And a 
lovely  chocolate pecan birthday cake.
 
    Nicholas, perspiring slightly,  wrestles the microphone away from Armsman 
Szabo and Martin Kosti, and  announces:
 
    "Now, during this our annual assembly  to wish a joyous day to the 
creator of the Vorkosiverse and other worlds, and  wishing her many, many more . . . 
 Milady Bujold, we all wish you a Very  Happy Birthday, with all the good 
things you may desire.  Best wishes from  the List, and let the party begin!!
 
                    HAPPY 58th BIRTHDAY, LOIS McMASTER BUJOLD !!!!
    
 
    
 
 
 
 
    



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