[LMB] Single children (Was China)

[Elizabeth Holden]

--- Raye Johnsen <raye_j at yahoo.com> wrote:

> If I may make an observation of a personal nature? 
> Elizabeth, from recent discussions, I have come to the
> conclusion that you were raised very well, by two very
> good people.

Well: say nice things like that, and you can say all the personal things you like. My parents were
rather strange, but they were certainly good parents: no car, not much money, minimal socializing,
lots of books.  They valued food-for-thought and education. Yes, I was lucky in the parent
department.

And the upshot is, I think that being an only child was good for me: it encouraged traits of
independence and unselfishness.  I'm not saying it would be the same with other people, or in
different families. I'm just saying I don't think there is any hard and fast rule - or even any
prevalent tendencies.

> The stereotype of the only child being spoilt is
> derived, I think, from the fact that until recently
> (the last century or so) people who were not extremely
> wealthy and had many children couldn't afford to give
> them very much very often - <snip>

Always true. My argument is that though that can happen - any form of bad parenting can happen, or
bad behaviour on the part of kids - the bottom line there is the envy of other children, or bad
values on the part of the parents. Being an only child can mean extra discipline (and
overprotectiveness), or it can mean more care in a positive sense - more adult conversation and
attention to adult manners and habits.

I've met good people and I've met bad people, and I've certainly met those I would say were
spoiled or selfish, and I've never seen any correlation to birth order or number of siblings.

namaste,
Elizabeth