[LMB] Komarr Question

W. F. Zimmerman wfz at nimblebooks.com
Thu Oct 2 19:30:46 BST 2008


Just remember not every BPD diagnosis is correct. Sometimes it is simply a
catchall for "too difficult for me to work with."   There are programs that
can work successfully with BPD patients, it requires very intensive
cognitive behavioral therapy for massive reframing of coping skills.
 It would be a mistake to think of BPD as a purely moral disorder.Just like
many other serious psychiatric disorders, BPD is sometimes, but not always,
the result of severe psychological trauma.  The suffering spouse's sense of
compassion may have been exhausted, but that is no excuse for the rest of
us.
On Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 2:15 PM, Claire Nollet <cnollet at gmail.com> wrote:

> <lbujold at myinfmail.com> wrote:
>
> > There are female Tiens, too ...
>
>
> > The thing about Borderline Personality Disorder that makes it so
> > difficult for those around the person is the *borderline* part.
> > Because no individual incident, in isolation, sounds that bad, or like
> > something anyone might not have.  It's the *accumulation* that's the
> > tip-off, and that only becomes discernible after quite some time,
> > especially to someone like me who'd never before heard of it as a
> > psychiatric syndrome.
> >
> > Guys who have been married to female BPDs tend to be very marriage-shy
> > as well.  They get taken around and around the block in somewhat
> > different ways, but I believe the relief at the eventual escape must be
> > similar.
> >
> > Ta, L.<
>
>
> I've met female BPDs, too.  They're every bit as exhausting to have as
> friends as male BPDs are to have as lovers.
>
> And that's the thing about BPDs -- the EXHAUSTION they leave in their wake,
> and the ultimate futility of all the effort.  The effort wasted on your
> self-doubt.  The effort wasted on trying to fix the relationship.  The
> energy wasted in cringing anticipation of the next crisis.  The energy
> wasted in hope when you see the occasional glimmer that the other person
> might be changing after all.  The energy wasted in the crushing
> disappointment when the respite is over.
>
> And thank you, Miz L, for drawing such realistic characters.  I love your
> books.
> --
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> Lois-Bujold at lists.herald.co.uk
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>



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