[LMB] LQ #57: worst Bujold villain

Meg Justus mmegaera at nwlink.com
Sat Apr 18 18:58:11 BST 2009


Pete:
> Discussion question:  Given all his faults, why had Ekaterin put up with 
> Tien for ten years?

What the others have said, but, also, Nikki was born not long after they 
were married, and once he was born Tien had a potential hostage to buy 
Ekaterin's loyalty with.

Not to mention that when you're married to someone like Tien, as is 
reiterated several times by several different people, including Cordelia in 
ACC, one of the ways they hold you to them is to make you feel like it's all 
*your* fault.  If only *you'd* done something different, if only *you* 
didn't anger him at every turn, etc., etc., etc.  It can come to a point 
where you don't realize that it isn't your fault unless and until something 
or someone else points it out to you.  Or even, simply, points out that it 
doesn't matter -- you *are* allowed to leave when it gets that bad, no 
matter if you're to blame or not.

Why do people assume that leaving an abusive spouse is easy, is the question 
I want to ask.  Don't they realize how dangerous and risky and scary it is? 
What that spouse could *do* if threatened like that???  The real question is 
not why did she put up with him for ten years, but how did she come up with 
the magnificent courage to actually do it, even with his treason in front of 
her face.

Megaera 




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