[LMB] jacket copy post - corrected

Ed Burkhead ed at edburkhead.com
Thu Jan 15 00:04:20 GMT 2009


Lois,

That was an interesting process to read and I like the final version.  I
think it might entice me.

Thank you very much for not including the phrase, ". . . they will soon be
confronted by a crisis that threatens Lakewalkers and farmers alike, and
that could mean the literal end of the world for both."  I always get
indigestion reading book covers promising that only this character can save
the world.

The final version has a good progression of description while still
emphasizing that these characters are _important_!
 ___________

My only quibble is the sentence, "At last, he and Fawn decide to travel a
very different road -- and find that along it, their disparate but hopeful
company increases....."  This is the first mention of a company but the
company is not explained.  What kind of business is it?  A service company,
a manufacturing company, a bunch of friends over for a party?

How about this: "At last, he and Fawn decide to travel a very different road
- and find that along it, their disparate but hopeful group of companions
increases....."?

Ed





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