[LMB] Aral

Paula Lieberman paal at gis.net
Tue Aug 2 15:30:53 BST 2011

Throughout history there have been minorities, often considered socially 
aberrant, of women who supported themselves--some by widowhood, some by 
choice, some by happenstance other than hard luck, and some out of a drive 
for emancipation and self-determination.  There was beguinage, for example, 
which the Roman Catholic Church tried to squelch.  But, when women chose the 
self-determination, they mostly eschewed marriage, as an institution which 
would legally put them under the domination and control of a husband. 
Given up the self-determination and the freedom to be a wife subject to all 
sorts of -legal- abuse... was something perhaps the majority of 
self-supporting women over the age of 21 or so, could be very averse to... 
(my own maternal grandmother was reluctant to marry and had to be persuaded 
into it, she apparently was reluctant to give up the independence, she had a 
job and was self-supporting)

-----Original Message----- 
From: Rachel
Sent: Tuesday, August 02, 2011 9:18 AM
To: lois-bujold at lists.herald.co.uk
Subject: Re: [LMB] Aral

Pat:"There are also marriages -- and these DO tend to show a strong
gender division - where one partner is an idealist and the other is
pure Mister Spock. And pairings where the thinker is the woman and the
idealist is the man are rare partly because until quite recently,
thinking women opted for spinsterhood if they could.(Think of
Elizabeth Tudor)."

Ha! I'm definitely Ms. Spock in in my relationship--more likely to
say, "How interesting, this situation seems to have activated my
amygdala." My partner is the poet and the philosopher. That the male
is more commonly the cold logical one is certainly a cultural bias we
seem to hold these days, but it wasn't always. Think of men in lace
and tights writing long poems about unrequited love while women were
seen as the practical, pragmatic ones.

Come to think of it, women are still often seen as being more
concerned with their partner's job/money than with love. How is it
that we can be both the irrational and the too-rational? I suppose
women have only been able to choose love over pragmatism since we've
been allowed to support ourselves.
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