[LMB] Moldy oldy comments, was Cavillo and her ilk
M. Haller Yamada
thefabmadamem at yahoo.com
Fri Jun 24 23:55:06 BST 2011
The thing about any reproductive and sexual discussion is that even though there
are general trends, there are so many exceptions to the rule that trying to
paint things in a general fashion winds up . . . painting nothing in particular.
Carrying a baby for nine months may jump-start a loving relationship. It could
also jump-start a kind of perverted, control-freak relationship where Mom builds
up an image of what baby is going to be, and when baby turns out to be a real
person at about 2 years of age, things can go to hell. A mother who is going to
be distant is going to be distant whether she carries the baby, or grows it in a
can, too. Case, by case, by case. It's impossible to predict anything, because
sometimes after the baby comes, the Mother Changes Her Mind . . . this could
swing either way. And sometimes, the Mother Is Confirmed in Her Expectations.
Personally, I had good pregnancies and enjoyed that time (child birth . . . not
so much). It wrought changes in my body, and I've never had less trouble losing
weight in my life. (-: Obviously, I am one of those "cases" and not the normal
trend. I have no trouble believing that some women (and most men, LOL!) would be
better off with a UR. And that goes for the babies, too. Some pregnancies are
very, very hard on the poor babies . . . .
Fatherhood in relation to a UR is also the same thing: there are some very very
good fathers out there, and some very very bad ones. I think some fathers
benefit from watching their baby grow inside their partner -- it gives time to
adjust to the idea, and their love for their partner automatically becomes
entwined with their love for this new little thing. However, I bet some fathers
are just as likely to love a baby that comes out of thin air, so to speak. Case
Bad fathers are often accidental sperm donors, and I think the moms are well rid
of them. Irresponsible fathers are a grey area -- they think they want the
fatherhood, but it turns out that children annoy them. Good fathers (like good
mothers) should be a national treasure -- a world treasure. They should get
awards and parades and things . . . even though they don't care about that.
At any rate, I think a child does better with at least two adults who love
him/her. The parents can tag-team when one gets tired, they can combine
resources (financial, knowlege, physical, time, etc) to make sure the children
get what they need. I was lucky to marry into a functional family, and my first
baby had six loving adults to tag-team her care. (And I was too anal to take
full advantage of that, LOL!) But then again, a dysfunctional family of six
adults teaming up to make the child fulfill THEIR needs . . . nightmare. It
wouldn't work for everyone.
UR technology will be too expensive at first to be a casual sort of thing . . .
only the people who really need it will be able to get it. But . . . as they
make mistakes, and also discover good strategies, the parents who come after
should be able to use their own judgement as to whether they want to use a UR or
(And Paula, if you re-read Thad and Damien's posts, you might see they are not
trying to impose some sort of societal norm on you -- rather, they want to
express their own feelings of what societal image *they* want imposed on
themselves. They want men to be seen as real partners, NOT sperm
donors/paychecks. I didn't see anything that said, "All women must have babies."
I know other people have put that unfair pressure on you, but I haven't seen it
in this discussion.)
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