[LMB] Why is Aral bisexual?

anmar Caver anmar.mirza at gmail.com
Wed Dec 9 23:47:07 GMT 2015

On Wednesday, December 9, 2015, Walter S Bushell <proto at panix.com> wrote:

> > On Dec 9, 2015, at 05:17, Paula Lieberman <paal at filker.org
> <javascript:;>> wrote:
> >
> > because bisexuality denotes not only celebration of homosexuality but
> celebration/tolerance of open polyamory

I know -plenty- of bisexual folks who are monogamous.  Point in fact most
people I know are serial monogamists.  Polyamory is far less common that
bisexuality.  The one issue I have with the dialogue between Cordelia and
Vordarian in an otherwise brilliant scene is when Cordelia says "was
bisexual, now he's monogamous" is that assumption that a monogamous person
is no longer bisexual.   That is just as false as saying someone someone
who has never had sex can't be heterosexual (or any other orientation).
One can feel attraction and not act upon it because of the constraints of
the relationship agreement.

It is, of course, the height of irony for me that I have two primary
partners and an LDR who are all female given that I've actively looked for
a boyfriend.  So an outside observer would conclude I am very
heterosexual.  That's probability though, I am far more likely to meet
heterosexual or bisexual women than homosexual or bisexual men who are
interested in a relationship.

Further, the vast majority of people I've encountered who are bisexual are
really primarily attracted to one gender but will play with someone of
another gender even while they would never consider a romantic
relationship.  Aral's character was more of that Kinsey 3 than the general
populous of folks who identify as other than hetero or homosexual (or
asexual).  I identify as pansexual because I truly do not care about the
gender of someone else in my attraction.  I don't see gender as a duality
and it is irrelevant to how I am attracted to someone.  In a mixture of
Aral and Miles, I adore competent people, I become attracted to smart,
strong, and capable.  After that I will enjoy the physical bits, whatever
those may be.

> At least on Barrayar that is false, from textev. Cordelia says Aral is now
> monogamous.
> If he’s cheating, she doesn’t know so it’s not open.
> It may happen in fan fic, but is non canonical.

I am trying to remember if it is SoH or Barrayar where she has the soldier
who has two households he takes care of, though that isn't open polyamory
either as they do not know of each other.  I am leaning towards SoH, though
it could be abother book entirely.


Anmar Mirza EMT, N9ISY, NCRC National Coordinator, RBNC President

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