[LMB] Attract vs. chased

Beatrice Otter beatrice_otter at haugensgalleri.com
Sun Sep 6 04:31:40 BST 2015


>>> On Sep 4, 2015, at 1:57 AM, Beatrice Otter <beatrice_otter at haugensgalleri.com> wrote:
>>>
>>> Beatrice Otter:
>>> I MOST EMPHATICALLY do not want to be chased by anyone for any reason having anything to do with sex or romanc
>> From: howard at brazee.net
>> The word “chase” has lots of different levels of meaning here.   There is a level of attracting someone of the desired gender which most people are happy with.    The trouble is, lots of different conditions change that level.
>>
>> Certainly Miles “chased” Ekaterin at various levels that are different from Betriz “chasing” Cazaril.
> On 9/4/2015 10:04 AM, Pat Mathews wrote:
> Yes, and just look how that turned out for Miles. "Stop her! She's getting away!"
Beatrice Otter:
You will note that it was only once he /stopped/ chasing her that 
anything happened.

I would not describe any of Betriz or Caz's behavior as anything even 
/close/ to either of them chasing the other.  Chasing implies that one 
of them wishes a relationship and is willing to pursue it even against 
the other's wishes.  (This is, in fact, the problem with it--if someone 
says they love you, but don't care what you think or want as long as 
they get you, there's something wrong and it's probably not going to be 
a great relationship until/unless they can learn to back off, as Miles 
did.)  Both Betriz and Caz /want/ a relationship--they care about each 
other very much on multiple levels--but circumstances are in the way.  
And although one of them sees circumstances as more of a preventative 
than the other, the other accepts his decision even though she doesn't 
like it.

Beatrice Otter


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