[LMB] Fat shaming, slut-shaming, and special snowflakes

Eric Oppen ravenclaweric at gmail.com
Tue Dec 13 16:19:39 GMT 2016


My own take on it is about like this.

I'm fairly badly overweight.  It so happens that I'm inclined that way and
always have been, and stress doesn't help any...and my life has been Stress
Central since I stupidly came home from China.

I _know_ I'm overweight.  I don't need to be reminded.  I'm fully well
aware of the existence of dieting.  Dieting, particularly without a support
network, the which I do not have, takes a lot of willpower, and my
willpower is already fully engaged mostly in keeping my fingers off a bunch
of people's throats.  The same, as above, for exercise, which is also much
harder when you're overweight.  It's ironic that the people who _need_
exercise least are the ones who have the easiest time with it.

I have enough trouble keeping my temper under control as it is.  Hectoring
me, particularly about a part of my life that I already do not like and
would love to change if I could find a way to do it that did not rely on
bloody _willpower,_ is monkeying with a button that I'd much rather you did
not push.  I have quite enough problems with my self-image without people
telling me that I'm a moral failure on top of it all.  If you want to see
me lose weight, how's about getting me a job---preferably one that does NOT
just vanish out from under my feet unexpectedly?  And maybe helping me
relocate to a place that I don't have serious objections to living in?

If you can't or won't do those things, how's about you dog your
biscuit-trap shut, and the scene can stay serene, _capisce?_

On Tue, Dec 13, 2016 at 6:21 AM, Karen Hunt <huntkc at gmail.com> wrote:

> On Mon, Dec 12, 2016 at 10:30 PM, Douglas Weinfield <douglasw at his.com>
> wrote:
>
> > IMHO, there's a tension here
> >
>
> [snip]
>
> Beyond that, in a perfect world, sure, the person being shamed would let it
> > roll off their back. But back here in the real world, if Person A engages
> > in offensive behavior towards Person B, and B feels they are being shamed
> > by A's behavior, my sympathies are with A. Snowflake-ness doesn't even
> > enter into it. I might wish B had a tougher skin, but I don't know what
> > kind of life they've lived, or what kind of burdens they've had to
> overcome.
> >
> > I rather imagine Lady Alys would not tolerate any kind of shaming.
> >
>
> The situation for B might be worse than some people guess even apart from
> questions about their past.
>
> Public shaming situations produce private problems: Family members
> (including spouses) who jump in and join into the shaming actions make the
> situation much worse. Neighbors who make it known that they feel the same
> do likewise.
>
> Sometimes even crimes get committed against someone basically on the
> grounds that they must be bad - see this shaming stuff that's going on?
>
> Don't ask too closely how I know this...
>
> Karen Hunt
> --
> Lois-Bujold mailing list message sent to ravenclaweric at gmail.com
> Lois-Bujold at lists.herald.co.uk
> http://lists.herald.co.uk/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/lois-bujold
>


More information about the Lois-Bujold mailing list