[LMB] Fat shaming, slut-shaming, and special snowflakes

WILLIAM A WENRICH wawenri at msn.com
Tue Dec 13 20:38:13 GMT 2016

I lost 75 pounds, kept it off for three years, and then gained half of it back. 
My take: Things change. BMI Is silly. You should try to find a weight you're comfortable with and go with it. 
However, that doesn't mean that what is good for you is good for anyone else. It also also doesn't mean that you're entitled to half the seat of the person next to you. You have a right not to be insulted when no harm has been done. They have a right not to be crushed or even have their, sometimes paid for, space invaded. Life is a trade off. Rights need to be balanced. Too often it seems that one person will say that their own rights are more important than anyone else's. 

Sent from my iPhone

> On Dec 13, 2016, at 10:50 AM, Dave McMillan <skyefire at skyefire.org> wrote:
>> On 12/13/2016 11:19 AM, Eric Oppen wrote:
>> My own take on it is about like this.
>> I'm fairly badly overweight.  It so happens that I'm inclined that way and
>> always have been, and stress doesn't help any...and my life has been Stress
>> Central since I stupidly came home from China.
>    Topic branching, in the hope of actually being helpful on this subject....
>    I have exactly the same set of problems.  I'm a boredom eater *and* a stress eater, have been under psychopathy-inducing stress near-nonstop for years, and (looking at my family) have a strong genetic predisposition to be heavy.  Not to mention that I hate exercise ("runner's high?  Don't make me laugh!").  I watched my weight creep all the way up to 460 pounds (my ideal "chart" weight is about 200!) over 20 years, even after  I had proven to myself that, if I could stick to just a *reasonable* diet (nothing special, just eating no more than 2000 calories/day), I could lose weight, albeit slowly.
>    I had finally hit the point of walking into a bariatric surgeon's office and saying "I've got no insurance, what's the cash price for a lap-band/gastric sleeve/etc?"   (I *do* have insurance, and pretty good overall, but it *explicitly disallows* coverage of *any* weight-loss surgery, for some reason).  But my chiropractor set me up to talk to his wife, who is now a coach for a program that let her lose ~60 pounds and keep it off, and *her* coach had lost ~150 a decade ago and kept it off.  Frankly, it sounded like infomercial hype, but I've known these people for nigh on 20 years now, so I figured WTH?
>    Here's the pitch:  no exercise program, no meetings, no "feelgood new-age double-plus-good" baloney.  Well, okay, maybe a *little* of the latter.  But it's mostly metabolic science (arrived at, I suspect, by trial and error, but it works), designed to induce fat burning while minimizing hunger and cravings.
>    I buy a monthly "care package" of small 100-calories "fuelings", and eat 5 of those a day, every 2.5hrs (timing is important, but some of the fuelings are pocketable bars).  I eat one "lean&green" meal a day (in one of those 2.5hr time slots), usually lunch) of 6oz of chicken, 2 cups of lettuce, and 0.5cup celery (plus 2 tablspoons of a low-carb, low-fat (but NOT 0-carb or 0-fat) salad dressing.  The L&G actually has several options for meat and vegetables, but I'm a lousy cook and hate almost all vegetables, so this simple lashup is what's easy for me to throw together daily.  This totals right around 1000 calories/day.
>    No lie, the first week was hellish.  I had to switch to *two* L&G meals (~1500 cal/day) a day for that week, because I was literally having the shakes and near-fainting spells, but by the end of the week the cravings for REAL FOOD were surprisingly faint. Then I switched back down to the "5+1" plan again, and went through the withdrawal a second time.
>    You do get a coach, but basically all I do is send a text message or email logging each item I eat, and when, and I weigh myself first thing every morning and log that as well.  The first few weeks had some mildly annoying Pollyana-esque feedback, and I had to have a couple phone conversations while straightening out some things I was screwing up, but it was bearable (and I say that as an intensely private person who hates "sharing").
>    That was Labor Day this year.  As of today, I'm down 90 lbs. I've got another ~120 to go, which by my current trend (I have a whole spreadsheet with charts, trend lines, projections, etc) should end sometime in May.  And (at the risk of sounding like an infomercial) it's still amazing how *easy* it's been, compared to what I thought I was capable of.
>    Not that I wouldn't cheerfully commit murder for a pizza.  I'm SO FREAKING TIRED of eating "rabbit food" every day.  The sheer *blandness* drives me batty sometimes.  But... the cravings I would have sworn I couldn't resist before are... resistable.  I took Thanksgiving off (then promptly had to make a 1200-mile road trip to the middle of nowhere to bury my aunt), and lost a week of progress, but didn't *gain* anything -- avoiding going hog-wild on my "diet vacation" was much easier than I expected.  I've managed to survive Free Pizza Day and Free Donut Day multiple times at work.
>    $$$... well, I think it's a wash.  I never cooked, before -- I ate either heat&eat stuff, or fast food, or ate out, 3 meals/day, plus snacking at the vending machines.  The diet-plan food costs, but less than what I was spending on fast food daily before.  I spend *more* on groceries, but obtaining chicken, lettuce, and celery is possible even in a food desert.  My biggest problem is that I can't quite eat an entire head of lettuce before it goes bad, and buying smaller amounts is more difficult.  And finding a salad dressing that has exactly 3-5 grams of carbs *and* fats per 2-tbsp serving is surprisingly hard (Panera Sesame&garlic FTW!).  I also have to drink so much water, in order to keep my kidneys flushed, that I'm planning my life around the nearest bathrooms.
>    But, if anyone had told me (before I hit bottom) that I could lose 100 pounds in under 6 months *without* going to "Fatty Boot Camp" or making myself utterly, constantly miserable, I would have laughed in their faces.  Not that there aren't some torturous days, and days I see the scale creep back up even when I've been perfectly behaved.  I don't feel miraculously "better," but the massive constant *fatigue* I was constantly under before (and didn't even notice -- "boiling frogs" problem) isn't dragging me down anymore, and I'm not so deathly afraid that if I fall down on the ice this winter, I won't be able to get up without help.  Heck, my blood pressure (which was never *bad*, but was on the high side of average) has dropped 20 points!
>    I think the reason it works is that it's simple, regular, and (since I'm a data-driven personality), I can *see* the progress week-over-week.  I can even see, day-over-day, the effects of my slips and cheats.  The feedback is short-term and clear, as opposed to being some nebulous eventual payoff.  I now spend more time worrying about how I'm going to *keep* it off, once I'm done, than I worry about "grinding" my way there.

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