[LMB] Worldview (1

Ruchira Mathur wetair at gmail.com
Thu Dec 15 14:21:52 GMT 2016


The second one where people commenting on their achievement and people
taking it in way it was not intended. (Though sometimes such personal
antidotes are used to say: I could do it and the only reason you can't is
because you are such and such. But not always. Or even, usually.)

As for other - not intending to cause hurt doesn't mean hurt was not
caused. Just because someone didn't mean to break the other person's arm
didn't mean the arm wasn't broken.

On Dec 15, 2016 8:51 AM, "Gwynne Powell" <gwynnepowell at hotmail.com> wrote:

From: Lois Aleta Fundis <loisaletafundis at gmail.com>

?There may be a fine line between "bullying" and "shaming"?. But it's such
a fine line that, in my opinion, it's for all practical purposes
nonexistent. They are in fact two names for the same evil thing. They're
calling people names, and doing it to be mean and ugly.

Gwynne: There are some important differences. In bullying, the intent is to
cause harm. The attack is targetted, sustained, and often recruits more to
attack the victim.

With shaming, there is often no intent at all to attack anyone. It's not
focussed
on the 'victim', it's just the other person making a brief observation -
they might
be saying that they disagree with something the shamee is saying or doing,
but
it's not meant as an attack, and it's focussed on the speaker giving an
observation,
not on the shamee. And quite often there's no link between the two: someone
posting a picture or comment about their own achievement is accused of
shaming someone, who they often don't even know, who hasn't achieved the
same. Saying 'Hey, look, I've done this and I'm so happy about it' isn't an
attack
on anyone else, although someone who feels inadequate will turn that into a
shaming attack on themselves.

The focus of the bullying and shaming are different: in bullying the
speaker is
focussed on a specific victim and intends harm, in shaming the speaker is
focussed on themselves, means no harm, and sometimes has no link to the
shamee at all.

Ok, that's my theory of it all, anyway.  I also think the victims are
different:
bullying victims don't want attention, they just want it all to go away and
stop.
Shaming victims seek publicity.
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