anmar.mirza at gmail.com
Fri Jun 22 12:19:26 BST 2018
On Thursday, June 21, 2018, Joel Polowin <jpolowin at hotmail.com> wrote:
> Broadly speaking, I agree. But there are circumstances when I don't
> think it's inappropriate to judge a relationship -- poly or otherwise
> -- negatively: when one sees a looming catastrophe, inferred from
> past behaviour. "Crap, they're not involved with [X], are they?
> Every time [X] has latched onto another couple, [X] has done terrible
> damage, and I haven't seen any changes to [X]'s behaviour that might
> suggest that they've changed."
There's a big difference between "(S)he/they shouldn't date X because X is
a convicted axe murderer" and "OMG, they started dating X even though X is
married, how unethical!"
Or "X lied to them about being married but they still chose to date X." If
you know the relationship is a shitshow that's one thing, but in the case
of Cordelia and Jole, Cordelia seems to be perfectly happy with what
transpired amd we have the luxury that Lois allows us to see in her head,
so even if there had been deception through omission (which was NOT the
case per Lois's own words here in this thread), it's not our place to judge
because it only affected the principles involved and none of them asked for
our help with it.
Anmar Mirza EMT, N9ISY, NCRC National Coordinator, RBNC President
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