[LMB] Monogamy

Louann Miller domelouann at gmail.com
Fri Jun 22 22:50:31 BST 2018


I am probably influenced by the fact that I have no yen for poly myself at
all, so when I imagine myself in such a relationship it's as something
imposed on me by others. AND not being allowed to complain.


On Thu, Jun 21, 2018 at 7:35 PM, Harvey Fishman <fishman at panix.com> wrote:

> I believe I remember Aral saying someplace (I thought it is in _A Civil
> Affair_ but I could not find it) was that the purpose of all social-sexual
> systems was to insure that when a child arrived in the world that it was
> in a situation where it was cared for. With Beta locking genes so that
> conception was TIGHTLY controlled, it seems to me that the arrangement
> between the parents need not be conventional at all.
>
> Harvey
>
>
>
> On Thu, 21 Jun 2018, Corrina Lawson wrote:
>
> The more people that can love children and care for them, the better.
>>
>> I assume most Betans have the, ah, emotional kinks of a three-way (or
>> more)
>> relationship worked out.
>>
>> At one point, a reading of the material seemed to indicate that perhaps
>> co-parent is not the same as a spouse. Or perhaps there are different
>> earrings for co-parents who are our current definition of married, and
>> co-parents who have more Betan-style rules for their marriage.
>>
>> Not that this is in the text, but my interpretation of Cordelia's reaction
>> to Aral and Jole is that part of it is that she deemed Aral to be a bit
>> self-loathing about his attraction to men and wanted that done with. After
>> all, Ges seems to have been Aral's primary male romantic relationship and
>> that was severely dysfunctional. Cordelia might well view a positive
>> romantic relationship with another man--especially a good, decent, and
>> giving man like Oliver--to be something Aral needed, psychologically, to
>> accept and be happy with that part of himself.
>>
>> I'm guessing, from implications in the text, that Cordelia was also
>> careful
>> to watch out for Oliver, given his position as Aral's aide, which might be
>> ripe for abuse, given the power imbalance. (Not that Aral would
>> consciously
>> take advantage but, still, the power imbalance exists)  I would love to
>> have seen exactly what happened when Aral (perhaps after a discussion with
>> Cordelia) insisted that Oliver had to take a promotion away from Aral.
>> Oliver says in the text that he was unhappy with it, and one wonders at
>> his
>> hurt, though he ultimately saw and accepted the reasoning.
>>
>> Corrina
>> --
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>>
>>
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> ----------------
>  Harvey Fishman   |
> fishman at panix.com |           A little heresy is good for the soul.
>   718-258-7276    |
>
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