[LMB] Monogamy

Joel Polowin jpolowin at hotmail.com
Sun Jun 24 19:10:55 BST 2018


margaret at devere.net wrote:

> Asking for clarification:
> 
> Does "poly" imply being in simultaneous committed relationships? Are those
> other people also in committed relationships with each other?
> 
> It's clearly not just sleeping around. (I'm not trying to be negative here;
> I just don't have a term for uncommitted sex with different people.)
> 
> (This is probably a silly question: Every group of people can set up the
> relationships to suit themselves.)

Writing as a semi-outsider: the abbreviation "poly" is
ambiguous. There's "polyamorous", the orientation -- interest in
/ willingness to be in more than one relationship concurrently,
vs. "monogamous", wanting to be in only one relationship at a time.
And there's "polyamory", the *practice* of being in two or more
concurrent relationships, vs. "monogamy".  I have always been monogamous
by orientation, but only for a relatively short part of my life have
I been able to put it into practise.  My sweetie is polyamorous by
orientation, but practising monogamy.

Level of commitment between people is up to them, regardless of the
polyamory or monogamy.  It's a different axis.  Some poly people
are in long-term relationships with some of their partners and in
less-committed relationships with others.

There are closed poly groups: the people involved don't have
relationships outside their group.  And some people are in something
of a network, where the natures of the relationships and levels of
commitment are highly variable.

And it isn't just about sex.

Joel


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