[LMB] Monogamy

Eric Oppen ravenclaweric at gmail.com
Mon Jun 25 18:31:57 BST 2018

I don't really know if I qualify as "poly by inclination" or not.  Frankly,
I'm embittered enough by endless disappointments that, if I had my OWN
druthers and it existed in my orbit (meaning "I can get there and I can
afford to do it") I'd just visit Madame Xaviera's House of Negotiable
Affection when I felt the old urge, and leave dating, relationships and
that whole scene to people who _like_ endless "jam tomorrow, but never, oh,
NEVER, jam today!"  My take on the whole relationship thing is that it is,
at bottom, a scam, and I am too poor and too touchy about money to
appreciate being scammed.

I also get tired of "relationship partners" who can apparently time-travel
at will, like Jack Having in Poul Anderson's _There Will Be Time._

On Mon, Jun 25, 2018 at 10:09 AM, anmar Caver <anmar.mirza at gmail.com> wrote:

> On Mon, Jun 25, 2018 at 9:50 AM, Beatrice_Otter <
> beatrice_otter at haugensgalleri.com> wrote:
> >
> >
> >  However, I have friends who are poly, and they always roll their eyes at
> > the sort of dudebro who wants to be poly because he thinks it means "I
> can
> > sleep with any hot chick I want!" In the first place, even as poly,
> that's
> > only if she wants to sleep with *him*, too, which they never seem to
> think
> > about, and second, a successful poly relationship requires MORE
> > communication to make sure everyone's needs are getting met and everyone
> is
> > okay with everything. That sort of dudebro invariably isn't happy with
> even
> > the amount of communication necessary in a successful monogamous
> > relationship, and thinks adding more people somehow means less talking.
> >
> A very common theme with people who want to "try" polyamory, swinging, or
> just opening their relationship, is that it commonly is instigated by the
> man who thinks he'll get more sex with hot chix, or you know, two chicks at
> once, wink wink. The female partner may be reluctant  (or not) but what
> usually happens is the male partner finds that it's pretty damn hard to
> find random women who will have casual sex with him, but the female partner
> finds it is much easier to find casual sex with men, so the male partner
> who may have instigated the whole thing in the first place suddenly is
> crying "no fair!"
> Of course, not all situations end like that, but it's common.
> --
> Anmar Mirza EMT, N9ISY, NCRC National Coordinator, RBNC President
> --
> Lois-Bujold mailing list message sent to ravenclaweric at gmail.com
> Lois-Bujold at lists.herald.co.uk
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