[LMB] Criminals OT: (WAS:- Is Barr a rapist?)

Marc Wilson marc.wilson at gmx.co.uk
Tue Aug 13 13:40:22 BST 2019


On Fri, 9 Aug 2019 23:02:52 -0500, Eric Oppen <ravenclaweric at gmail.com>
wrote:

>I've joked that if a burglar did hit my place, I'd come home to find a note
>roughly as follows:
>
>"Dear Householder.  In my career as a burglar, I have been in many
>different homes and places of business. I have never, in all my career,
>beheld such a sloppy, un-cared-for mess as this pit of squalor you seem to
>call 'home.'  This place looks like a hurricane hit a bookstore.  You are
>an utter disgrace, and should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.  Signed, A
>burglar."

I swear this is a true story:

I once came home from work, and didn't realise I'd been burgled until I
went to switch the TV on, and couldn't find it.

We called the police, they sent a WPC around to take a statement.

"Oh, they have made a mess", she said.

"Yes", we said, trying to look upset.
--
"If Elves are plural of Elvis the plot of eg. Lord of the Rings changes
quite drastically. Perhaps I should try to read it again with these new
glasses... " Rasmus Bøg Hansen, AFDA


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