[LMB] OT: ish, the nuclear family

Thomas Izbicki tizbick at hotmail.com
Mon Feb 17 19:33:48 GMT 2020

There's an Italian phrase, found in Renaissance texts, "the burdens of marriage". It helps explain why men married late to younger women.
Tom Izbicki
From: Lois-Bujold <lois-bujold-bounces at lists.herald.co.uk> on behalf of Sylvia McIvers <sylviamcivers at gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, February 17, 2020 2:26 PM
To: Discussion of the works of Lois McMaster Bujold. <lois-bujold at lists.herald.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [LMB] OT: ish, the nuclear family

On Sat, Feb 15, 2020 at 6:43 PM Damien Sullivan <phoenix at mindstalk.net>

> Though I think it's older than he credits.  I've heard a lot of the
> "northwest European" pattern of a prospective couple not marrying until
> they could afford a household of their own, via job or inheritance or
> prize money.  You see it in Jane Austen's gentry.
> ...
> Eh.  Zoning for detached single family homes started in the 1930s and
> took off after WW
> -xx- Damien X-)
My grandma, born between the wars, described how all the children of one
set of grandparents lived on one street - they were technically nuclear
homes, but the matriarch and patriarch of the family definitely helped
raise the grandchildren, and maintained their influence over the extended

See also, "it takes a village."  When people didn't move too far away from
where they were born, it wasn't just the extended family but the
neighborhood that helped each other out.  Of course, that comes with a
toxic undertow of viciousness, but you'll find the same thing in extended
families, with one person designated as the scapegoat and no way to get out
of that family role.

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