[LMB] Orycon (Very Long and Only Marginally Topical)

PAT MATHEWS mathews55 at msn.com
Tue, 11 Nov 2003 18:13:42 -0700


>From: "Padget, Scott R" <scott.r.padget at boeing.com>

(Lotsa snipping)

>Clearly the lesson here (at least as read by the socially-insecure,
>easily-intimidated person) is:  If I Approach Someone And Get It Wrong,
>I Will Be Punished And It Will Be My Fault And I Will Deserve It.  Okay,
>if I don't touch maybe I won't end up writhing in pain on the floor, but
>clearly *something* bad will happen if I bother anybody verbally as well.
>Even if it's just a scathing rejection, or even being ignored.  (Heck,
>being casually ignored can be the most painful thing of all--if I'm
>actively rebuffed, at least I'm worth *noticing*, after all, and that's
>*something*.)

Amen, brother, say it again!

I'm giving you the
>dubious privilege of a teensy glimpse at just a few of the roiling
>hordes of demons that live in *my* head, only barely under control.
>And compared to a lot of people here, I'm one of the HEALTHY ones.

Thanks. I keep the lid on my own demons, too.

>
>Ah.  I stand corrected.  There is a third type, quite common in fandom:
>clueless and ignorant, but teachable.  Yes, they can and will learn by
>being told.

What *we* get out of it, like as
>not, is a sort of subconscious conviction that *any* interaction,
>including verbal, that we clueless and inept folk take part in will
>end disastrously.  The fact that we can't really verbalize it actually
>makes it more insidious:  if we could put into words that we're afraid
>we'll get beat up for saying the wrong thing, or that we'll get a drink
>dumped on our heads for saying "Hello", or be laughed at for insufficient
>suavity, it would be a lot easier to dispose of.  Because when you put
>it in words, it sounds pretty silly.

Oh, brother, I AM one of that kind! Masked, often enough, by equally 
clueless monologing and jaywalking. Defined as such things as cornering the 
GOH because s/he's INTERESTING!

>Generalizing away:  the difference is only one of degree and details, not 
>of
>basic type.  They're both Social Interactions That We Insecure People Will
>Screw Up.  And (mis)applying this thread's lesson in a typical insecure-
>person fashion:  "...And For Which We Will Get Punished."

And They will never tell us why. "If you don't KNOW, we're not gonna TELL 
you!" Or else, "Oh, Mom, you are SO Paranoid!"

>
>Pilot Padget-who needs to go calm down and remind himself that he is *not*
>that person any more ("I'm not, I'm not, I'm notnotnotnot!  Back into your
>pit, demons!")

But thanks for letting me know that others have them.

Pat

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