[LMB] repression and Ekaterin

Azalais Malfoy tiamat at tsoft.com
Fri, 14 Nov 2003 22:29:03 -0800 (PST)


On Sat, 15 Nov 2003, Marna Nightingale wrote:

> MegJ wrote:
> >
> > Laura:
> > > For instance, when I finally left the relationship that was
> > > the Tien in my life, I managed it all in one evening.
> >
> > Exactly.  I did the same thing -- well, it took me a bit
> > longer than an evening, but that was mostly because I was
> > having to dance around not letting him know that I was
> > leaving until I'd gotten what I needed out of the house
> > because I was physically afraid of him.
>
> Not only did I just up and go, I felt fine afterwards.
>
> I'd gotten all the pain over with *during*.  I woke up one day and
> thought, you know, this is just freaking BORING.  It's stupid, it's
> not getting any better, and if he really will die if I leave him well,
> I guess he's going to die. Because if it's him or me, it's me.
>
> I left. He lived.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

You leave when you know it's well and truly dead, and you don't
want to be dead (metaphorically or literally) along with it.

During the circumstances that lead to the breakup of my worst
relationships I was often distraught and nonfunctional.  Once I
decided it was over, I became possessed of a frightening
functionality, ruthless and secretive and tough to the point
where you'd think I would bleed silver and green, shed my skin,
and eat rats.

~malfoy :)
**************************************************************************
"That wickedness weltering around inside of you, inside of everyone, is
sacred somewhere.  There's a deity out there who digs it.  You can respect
and love your darkest side, disposing only of what is obsolete or
impractical.  It's all about giving yourself permission." --Jack Darkhand

"It is better to be cruel for love than for hate." --Thomas Burnett Swann