jparish at siue.edu
Sun May 7 20:33:26 BST 2006
[The stout fellow emerges onto the stage. He is clad in dark purple
robes, and his head is bowed.]
My friends, I come before you in memory of a shame - a failure on the
part of the Tixie Corps. On this day, a year ago, a listie's birthday came
and went, and the Corps... forgot.
Not again. Not this year.
But it is not in sorrow that I wear these robes. No; today's celebrant is
Rebecca Reid, who turns forty-seven today, and the hue of my robes is
chosen in honor of the list's own purplemama. Rebecca, may today be
a day of joy and mirth for you and yours.
[Ben pads onto the stage; in his mouth is a long, skinny, cloth-wrapped
bundle. One of the small winged humanoids flits above him.]
Ah, I see that the gift has arrived. I understand that our Rebecca is
rather sensitive to the Sun, and shuns the daylight outdoors a bit more,
perhaps, than she should. Thus [he takes the bundle from Ben and
unwraps it; the cloths are damp, but what they concealed is unharmed],
on behalf of the Tixie Corps, I present her with this [he opens and
flourishes it] nifty purple umbrella! It will, no doubt, prove useful in
guarding her from the Sun's harmful rays, and I daresay she will find
other uses for it as well, living as she does in the Pacific Northwest.
[He hands the umbrella, folded up again, to the humanoid, which zips
down the aisle and out the front door.] Ladies and gentlemen of the list,
I give you Rebecca Reid!
[The audience explodes into applause; Ben, excited, rears up on his
hind legs and dances, woofing.]
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