[LMB] Paladin discussion questions?
harimad2001 at yahoo.com
Thu May 31 18:51:11 BST 2012
BJ>--- On Tue, 5/15/12, BJ van Look <vanlook at yahoo.com> wrote:
BJ> I have actively and consciously used Milesian (and probably
BJ> Cordelian) conversation and social tactics at the workplace.
BJ> They work.
BJ> The example that immediately springs to mind [...]:
BJ> don't up the stakes, lower the wall. Make it easier for
BJ> someone to agree with you by making yourself easier to agree
BJ> with--don't touch on the disagreement, touch on the
BJ> I'm not natively socially ept, so modelling behaviors on
BJ> more out-going and socially dextrous personas and characters
BJ> is something I've found beneficial.
This, for both paragraphs. "Lower the wall" is probably the single most overtly useful thing I've encountered in Herself's works.
I learned to understand a particularly taciturn supervisor from something in Mary Doria Russell's The Sparrow, that he was taciturn _with me_ because he felt that his low-educated, blue-collar background was lacking compared to my highly-educated, pristine white-collar background. His response to this feeling was to shut down. He's so good at his job that it never would have occurred to me that I made him uncertain, until I read a similar situation in The Sparrow.
I also learned to be more persuasive by backing off after I made my point, rather than pushing for agreement Right Now. This I learned from Emma Bull's The War for the Oaks, of all places. The book is lightweight urban fantasy but the tactic is golden.
 I'm not sure he graduated college; if he did it was after the military and from a school without a national reputation. He knew all about my background because he hired me.
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