[LMB] Paladin discussion questions?

Harimad harimad2001 at yahoo.com
Thu May 31 18:51:11 BST 2012


BJ>--- On Tue, 5/15/12, BJ van Look <vanlook at yahoo.com> wrote:
BJ> I have actively and consciously used Milesian (and probably
BJ> Cordelian) conversation and social tactics at the workplace.
BJ> They work.
BJ> 
BJ> The example that immediately springs to mind [...]:
BJ> don't up the stakes, lower the wall. Make it easier for
BJ> someone to agree with you by making yourself easier to agree
BJ> with--don't touch on the disagreement, touch on the
BJ> commonalities.
BJ> 
BJ> I'm not natively socially ept, so modelling behaviors on
BJ> more out-going and socially dextrous personas and characters
BJ> is something I've found beneficial.


This, for both paragraphs.  "Lower the wall" is probably the single most overtly useful thing I've encountered in Herself's works.

I learned to understand a particularly taciturn supervisor from something in Mary Doria Russell's The Sparrow, that he was taciturn _with me_ because he felt that his low-educated[1], blue-collar background was lacking compared to my highly-educated, pristine white-collar background.  His response to this feeling was to shut down.  He's so good at his job that it never would have occurred to me that I made him uncertain, until I read a similar situation in The Sparrow.

I also learned to be more persuasive by backing off after I made my point, rather than pushing for agreement Right Now.  This I learned from Emma Bull's The War for the Oaks, of all places.  The book is lightweight urban fantasy but the tactic is golden.

- Harimad


[1] I'm not sure he graduated college; if he did it was after the military and from a school without a national reputation.  He knew all about my background because he hired me.


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