[LMB] Gene cleaning in real life

quietann quietann at gmail.com
Mon Nov 13 18:45:38 GMT 2017

On Sat, Nov 11, 2017 at 2:20 PM, A. Marina Fournier <saffronrose at me.com>

> On Nov 11, 2017, at 8:53 AM, Pat Mathews <MATHEWS55 at msn.com> wrote:
> >
> > Stallman looks and sounds like someone who would be completely at home
> at any SF con I've ever been to.
> I thought he was.
> I have other issues with the woman I mentioned, and tend to avoid her when
> possible. Boundaries are not well observed by her, and I disagree strongly
> with much of what she espouses or believes.
> SF cons, if they can deal with the overwhelm at larger cons, are good for
> quite a few categories of marginalized and tight-focused folks: they are
> accepted for who they are and their interests, as long as manners are
> observed.
Stallman is a con regular. I will say he is not the most welcome, because
of his occasional very poor treatment of women and some other issues.  But
to the best of my knowledge he isn't banned from any. I've had limited
interactions with him, and find him a bit creepy, but not impossible to
deal with. Others have different opinions.

I get a close-to-inside view of what one con (Arisia) goes through with
"incidents" at cons. It is not a great time for anyone, to put it mildly.
My beloved sees and weighs in on every Arisia "incident report" and has
sometimes been conchair on duty when some pretty unpleasant things have
happened. (He is *perfectly* suited for this temperamentally.) I think
they'll try their hardest to NOT ban someone, but there are cases where
honestly it's the best choice, even if the person hasn't actually broken
any laws.

I do think that "your diagnosis does not excuse your behavior" is becoming
the norm. Cons are relatively good environments for those with
social-skills issues, and in fact a good place to *learn* better social
skills, because other attendees tend to be more forgiving/familiar with
social lapses. But there are limits...


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