[LMB] Gene cleaning in real life
beatrice_otter at haugensgalleri.com
Wed Nov 15 15:19:14 GMT 2017
On Nov 14, 2017 9:31 PM, "A. Marina Fournier" <saffronrose at me.com> wrote:
> Most animal trainer know that rewarding good behavior (perhaps except with cats) is the way to encourage and establish desired behaviors.
Yeah, well, behavioral therapists (and anybody with a "spare the rod, spoil the child" approach) tend not to understand that.
> Before my son was given the proper medications and dosages, clear thought was rare. When he was overwhelmed, he could shut himself up in his room and vent, or in warmer weather, I'd tell him to go soak his head (spend time in the pool).
I'm glad he has good meds! The right meds in the right dosages for the right issues can be such a blessing. Unfortunately, there are too many parents and doctors who drug a kid up just to get them to be quiet and think that solves the problem. I have one of those in my congregation. She is a handful, normally. Autism and a couple of other learning disabilities. And most of the issue is that she doesn't necessarily understand what you're asking of her unless you spell it out in a way that makes sense to her. She wants to be good! She just can't always figure out what that means in context. About six months or so ago, she changed doctors and got put on a different medication regime. Her mom and teachers love it because she is so much easier to handle! Her grandparents and I are appalled because the reason she is easier to handle is because the meds turn her from a bright, loving, inquisitive, helpful, active child into a zombie who basically just sits where you tell her to and stares off into space or plays games on her phone. I would never say that meds are bad, but this is a case of meds being USED badly.
> Punishing meltdowns for whatever dx has no positive effect. Some of us have strategies for dealing with meltdowns, present or about ready to happen (think of an aura for migraines, which not every migraineur gets). For my son, it was sitting outside the classroom, and presently, going on a longish walk to get away from the stressors. I myself have done that a handful of times, but usually it's sitting in my car (which I no longer have) or going somewhere peaceful to sit awhile.
For those who don't grok what a meltdown is, they're what happens when your brain and body get pushed so far past enduring that you can't even hold onto it with your fingernails any more. From the outside they can occasionally look like a temper tantrum. But a temper tantrum is about trying to manipulate people into giving you what you want. A meltdown is more like a nuclear reactor melting down: things have been pushed so far past operational tolerances that there's no way to control the reaction.
> Beatrice (and any other neurodiverse folks on the list): when you were young, were adults, such as friends of your parents, or neighbors, any easier to communicate with?
Oh, heck yeah. Adults, adults I understood. I could talk with them. I could understand what they did and why they did it. Other children might as well have been ALIENS, for all I could understand them.
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