[LMB] OT: Surprise Surprise

Katrina Knight kknight at fastmail.fm
Wed Nov 29 13:54:04 GMT 2017


At 05:24 PM 11/28/2017 WILLIAM A WENRICH wrote:
>Today I was reading an article that said that I was not CIS 
>gendered at all but rather Demigendered as I don't want to have 
>sex with anyone I  don't love.

Whoever came up with that seems to be confused about the 
difference between gender and sexuality. Gender is not about who 
you're sexually attracted to. It is about who you are. 
"Demigender" is more typically used for people who feel they 
have a partial connection to a gender. What you're describing 
seems to be a somewhat off description of "demisexual" rather 
than "demigender". "Demisexual" refers to people who don't feel 
sexual attraction unless they've already formed a strong 
emotional connection.

>Apparently, CIS males or females will sleep with anyone of the 
>other gender.

Did the article really say that? Or are you exagerating for the 
sake of being outraged? Even people who have sex without being 
in love generally aren't willing to have sex with everyone of 
the appropriate gender.

>Only having sex with someone you love used to be part of being 
>monogamous.

Being sexually attracted to someone and actually making love to 
them are quite different. In my experience, most people of any 
gender can look at people of their preferred gender(s) and feel 
sexual attraction to at least some of them, even if they're 
strangers. Most of them don't have any intention of having sex 
with all the people they see as being sexually attractive 
though. If you don't, you may actually be demisexual. If you 
are, that doesn't mean you aren't cis-gendered.

People come in an amazing variety. Trying force everyone into a 
few square holes doesn't work because people are round and 
triangular and irregular too, not all square.

-- 
Katrina Knight
kknight at fastmail.fm 



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