[LMB] Another double!

Gwynne Powell gwynnepowell at hotmail.com
Wed May 23 02:27:49 BST 2018


(Huge apologies on this, it's a day late. Yesterday my computer
decided not to work. Right now it seems to be back online. It
hates me.)

Yes, it's a another big day for birthdays with two , count them,

TWO wonderful celebrations today.

It's the birthday of Paul Oppenheimer, and of Eric Oppen!

Now, for a wonderful celebration you will both spend the day with
the ImpSec Defensive Driving Team. (Formerly the ImpSec Offensive
Driving Team, but the title was changed to make it more civilian-
friendly. Although slightly less accurate.)

Eric and Paul you will be taken to a special site in the Dendarii Ranges,
and given a (surprisingly brief) course in lightflyer skills. Then you will
learn the amazing art of gorge running. Fortunately there's no actual
running involved; all you do is fly the lightflyer through a series of
narrow, twisting gorges at extremely high speeds. It's suggested that
you don't eat a large meal beforehand.

After you've built up your skills in this way, and learned to stop
screaming at near-collisions, you'll start to practice dogfighting skills.
Again, no actual dogs. All you do is fly in a nice, clear sky. With
several dozen other lightflyers, trying to 'tag' each other with short-range

radar blippers. You have to get surprisingly close to tag another flyer.
It's even more difficult to do it without actually crashing into each
other.

The training lightflyers being used have all sorts of safety features, of
course. Proximity warnings (although those are mostly turned off, the

noise gets irritating) and sturdy seat belts. Plus a safety cage around
the pilot seat - even in a spectacular crash you'll be protected. Bounced
around a bit, but - well, people pay for rides like that.

So after some wild and exciting tag games, and a few crashes (everyone
bounces off the ground a few times, don't feel embarrassed. Oh, and
try to stay conscious), you'll then be able to progress to the use of
some of the more exciting and stimulating (i.e. lethal) weaponry. The
lightflyers of course have shielding. Unless it's all fallen off in the previous
crashes.

Yes, it's a wild and exciting day ahead for you both. As a special treat you'll
eat military rations, just like the troops. But there will be cakes, brought in
specially, and rousing choruses of 'Happy Birthday'. No candles, unfortunately,
after that awkward incident where the alarms went off and the safety crew
sped in and... never mind. Just enjoy the cake - it does taste better without
the fire-retardant foam.

Have wonderful birthdays - we wish you all the best!

Oh, just to check - you are insured, right?



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