[LMB] OT: When Insults Had Class

Carol Botteron cjbotteron at gmail.com
Tue May 29 00:17:36 BST 2018

HumourNet posted this list to Facebook.  Quite a few of these are
literary.  Maybe some folks can add other favorites.

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: "If you were my husband I'd give you

Churchill, in response: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: "I am enclosing two tickets to
the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."

Churchill, in response: "Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend
second ... if there is one."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or
your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of
it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by many of his friends.." -
Oscar Wilde

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -
Stephen Bishop

"I've just learned of his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -
Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts ... for support rather
than illumination." - Andrew Lang

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

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