[LMB] Skippy's List in the Vorkosiverse?

Ginnilee ladylavenderofteal at gmail.com
Wed Nov 7 01:35:02 GMT 2018

46. Do *not* give Countess Ekaterin Vorkosigan a new pearl necklace.
47. When trying to destroy the Soletta array do *not* take Ekaterin or her
Aunt Vorthys hostage- it will only end badly for you.
48. Telling someone that Miles killed Ekaterin's husband and he should take
Nikki as the nearest Male relative is a bad idea- never underestimate a
child who knows Gregor's com number.

Ginnilee P. Berger
Lady Lavender of Teal
I'm Dear, Sweet & Innocent-just ask my cat!

Introducing Cookie Sweetness Berger, Countess Catula II

On Mon, Oct 15, 2018, 9:22 AM Luke Bretscher <rocketman0739 at gmail.com wrote:

> In the interest of getting everyone on the same page, here's the current
> state of the list as I see it. Have I missed any messages?
> 1.  Playing or singing "Send In the Clowns" when the Cetagandan Ghem arrive
> is no longer allowed.
> 2.  Same, as above, for pointed references to Bozo, John Wayne Gacy or
> clowns in general.
> 3.  And while we're at it, mentioning Tammy Faye Bakker, the rock group
> KISS, or any other makeup-heavy group is not appropriate.
> 4. When doing the "mirror dance," beginning to undress is inappropriate
> behavior.
> 5. When on Komarr, I am to remember that it is not Camorr, and not ask
> about meeting Capa Barsavi and the Right People.
> 6.  When on Kibou-Daini, I am not to pointedly play the song "Ice Ice
> Baby."
> 7.  A Kibou-Daini native does not appreciate being called "Frosty the
> Snowman."
> 8.  Mentioning oatmeal and blue cheese dressing around Count or Countess
> Vorkosigan is...unwise.
> 9.  Discussing Vordarian's Rebellion is acceptable behavior.  Commenting
> that "he got himself cut off short and lost his head over a political
> argument" is not funny.  Even if it does send Countess Vorkosigan into fits
> of the giggles.
> 10.  When welcoming in members of the highest ruling class on Cetaganda,
> playing "There'll Be a Haut Time in the Old Town Tonight" is not
> appropriate.
> 11.  Same, as above, for "Hair" (from the musical with the same name).
> 12.  Before I congratulate myself on getting a wonderful bargain from a
> Jacksonian (or Mark Vorkosigan) I should count my fingers.  And my toes.
> And my relatives.
> 13.  "Zombie walks" aboard Kline Station are inadvisable.  They make the
> compulsive hand-washers go absolutely insane.
> 14.  Going to see the horse races is all right.  Getting into "a few
> friendly bets, to keep things interesting" with the older Vor Lords is not
> wise.
> 15.  Showing people the TV show *I, Claudius* is not wise.  The common
> people find it shocking, and the Vor are busily noting down all those
> wonderful ideas.
> 15a. Same goes for Caligula (blue cover edition), especially with some of
> the more racier sets of the town clowns.
> 16. Never think you've outsmarted or outmaneuvered Miles Vorkosigan!!!
> 17. Do not play "light flyer chicken" with Count Vorkosigan or Lord
> Vorkosigan...they both lose their sanity completely the moment they sit
> down in a light flier control seat - and they are better pilots than you to
> boot.
> 18. Don't try to win a staring contest with Zap the Cat, her offspring, or
> Simon Illyan.
> 19. If Lord Mike's Vorkosigan can't get red bean stew off the menu, you
> don't have a chance.
> 20. Fast-penta is not a recreational drug.
> 21. Don't give Kafka's THE TRIAL to Duv Galeni--he'll think it's a
> historical document, and Simon Illyan will have it classified.
> 22. Don't let Gregor watch MAYERLING (features suicide by a Crown Prince).
> 23. Don't let people read Discworld books, everyone will be puzzled that
> Granny Weatherwax doesn't have a hut with chicken legs.
> 24. Don't give Ivan a copy of Casanova's memoirs; he's a happily married
> man, and it would only inspire him to write his own recollections. Tej
> would pout. And then write her own.
> 25. By Vorrutyer may not bring an inflatable sheep, or a real one, either,
> as his date to the next Emperor's Ball. Not even if she's really popular.
> 26. "Stunner tag" is an idiom, not a real game.
> 27. "Nerve disruptor tag" is DEFINITELY not a real game.
> 28. Plasma Arcs are not to be used as cigar lighters, especially indoors.
> 29. Auditor Admiral Count Vorparadjis is to be admired from a GREAT
> distance.
> 30. Offering to give Auditor Lord Vorkosigan a puppy to calm him down and
> distract him is NOT appropriate.
> 31. Don't offer to babysit for Dowager Countess Vorkosigan.
> 32. Or Count Vorkosigan.
> 33. Don't go out 'for a night on the town' with Byerly Vorrutyer.
> 34. When meeting with the Empress, keep your eyes on her face. Nothing
> lower. Ever.
> 35. Don't ask Komarrans if they carry a puncture repair kit.
> 36. When travelling in a space vessel, do not confuse the lift tube
> entrance and the emergency escape hatch.
> 37. Jackson's Whole - just don't go there. Don't. Ever.
> 38. When visiting Cetaganda, if you are in the Celestial Dome, do not start
> singing 'Baa baa black sheep'.
> 39. Also in Cetaganda, if meeting with the Haut, don't mention omelettes,
> or any other egg-related recipes.
> 40. It's a clever idea to blame your debts on your Evil Clone Twin. It's
> not a good idea to forget which clothes and accent go with which identity.
> 41. Do not offer to take any Vorkosigan shopping.
> 42. Don't drink the maple mead.
> 43. Do not attempt to shoot fish in a barrel.
> 43a. Or use a stunner power pack to kill fish in a barrel.
> 44. Vampire balloons on Sergyar are not there so you can practice archery
> on them.  Even with fire arrows.
> 45. I must never say, imply, or think that "Ivan Vorpatril" is Barrayaran
> talk for "Bertie Wooster."
> Luke
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