[LMB] Skippy's List in the Vorkosiverse?

Eric Oppen ravenclaweric at gmail.com
Fri Oct 12 05:35:46 BST 2018


I was thinking about what Specialist Skippy Schwartz would be like in the
Vorkosiverse, and came up with a few ideas:

1.  Playing or singing "Send In the Clowns" when the Cetagandan Ghem arrive
is no longer allowed.
2.  Same, as above, for pointed references to Bozo, John Wayne Gacy or
clowns in general.
3.  And while we're at it, mentioning Tammy Faye Bakker, the rock group
KISS, or any other makeup-heavy group is not appropriate.
4. When doing the "mirror dance," beginning to undress is inappropriate
behavior.
5. When on Komarr, I am to remember that it is not Camorr, and not ask
about meeting Capa Barsavi and the Right People.
6.  When on Kibou-Daini, I am not to pointedly play the song "Ice Ice Baby."
7.  A Kibou-Daini native does not appreciate being called "Frosty the
Snowman."
8.  Mentioning oatmeal and blue cheese dressing around Count or Countess
Vorkosigan is...unwise.
9.  Discussing Vordarian's Rebellion is acceptable behavior.  Commenting
that "he got himself cut off short and lost his head over a political
argument" is not funny.  Even if it does send Countess Vorkosigan into fits
of the giggles.
10.  When welcoming in members of the highest ruling class on Cetaganda,
playing "There'll Be a Haut Time in the Old Town Tonight" is not
appropriate.
11.  Same, as above, for "Hair" (from the musical with the same name).
12.  Before I congratulate myself on getting a wonderful bargain from a
Jacksonian (or Mark Vorkosigan) I should count my fingers.  And my toes.
And my relatives.
13.  "Zombie walks" aboard Kline Station are inadvisable.  They make the
compulsive hand-washers go absolutely insane.
14.  Going to see the horse races is all right.  Getting into "a few
friendly bets, to keep things interesting" with the older Vor Lords is not
wise.
15.  Showing people the TV show *I, Claudius* is not wise.  The common
people find it shocking, and the Vor are busily noting down all those
wonderful ideas.
16. * Never think you've outsmarted or outmaneuvered Miles Vorkosigan!!!*


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